Friday, January 4, 2013

Oh, It's January? I Hadn't Noticed.

For the past several years I have developed an early warning system.  It only activates itself in the middle of December and it lasts until the middle of January...January 15th to be exact.  This early warning system isn't your typical ringing alarms or clanging bells, it's subtle and only I am aware of it.  I am aware of it because it's my body that has the early warning system in it and it warns me that I have a month to prepare for becoming one year older in January.

You may remember my post When 35 Years Old You Reach, Look As Good You Will Not.  If not, go read it, I'll wait, I'm not going anywhere.  Welcome back, now go away again and read Part II.  I get nervous sending people away from my post, I'm never sure if they will return or not but I see you made it back just fine.  What I didn't tell you about was the early warning system.

Without fail, a few days before Christmas my body starts telling me that I am going to be a year older in a month.  I start getting aches I've never had before, this year my left shoulder started aching and I haven't been able to do anything to stop it from hurting.  My lower back has stiffened up and my right leg hurts like I strained it hiking or something...I haven't gone on a hike in two months.  This year on top of the aches and pains I've increased my hair output.  I've told you about the rogue hair in the eyebrow and that I have to shave my left ear but this has increased dramatically, like I need to fix that shit twice a week now.

Last year I turned 35 at the Boston Museum of Science with fifty of my closest friends under ten years old.  I took the Cub Scout Pack there for an overnight and it was fun.  I slept on the floor of the museum and heard snoring all night long by other adults.  I was treated to a wonderful breakfast of a granola bar and yogurt after being woken up by one of my Leaders telling me their kid puked all over the sleeping area so my birthday started off at 4:00 AM.

The following day I went to visit my Mom in the hospital where she proceeded to tell me that I hate her and I wished she was dead because I was keeping her there.  Those were the last things she said to me before she passed the next day.

I'm a equal opportunity geek.
This year can only be better right?  I don't have to worry about either of my parents dying this year, we're not going to the Museum of Science and my birthday falls on a Tuesday so I will be at work all day.  The good news is I only have twelve more days until the early warning system shuts off.  So what AM I doing this year?  It involves the Cub Scouts again, but this time it is outside and on a steep mountain.

Each January we try to break up the winter doldrums by doing a weekend getaway with the Cub Scouts and this year we are doing a snow tubing sleepover.  Yes, I am already achy and sore and I am going to go snow tubing for four hours at a ski resort, spend 90% of the weekend outside in the cold and sleep over in a big hall, on the floor again.  The cool thing is we get a much better breakfast in the morning, not just a granola bar and yogurt.

I am not doing any resolutions this year either.  I've been down that road, went off the cliff and was released from the hospital.  I am going to start a Biggest Loser contest at work though, it's not a resolution to loose weight, there's cash prizes so it's purely selfish.  I did this a few years ago and dropped sixty pounds and I have been pretty successful keeping it off (within 10-13 lbs) so I am pretty confident I can do it again.  Wish me luck!


  1. 60 lbs.? That's amazing! And, if it make you feel any better... I found a big, gnarly, GREY chin hair. :( And I'm 33...

  2. I too, at the age of 35, feel those same aches and pains. Even when I spend a week doing nothing to warrant such pains, they are still there, nagging at an angry wife.

    I have yet to find stray hairs growing in strange places, except for one single gray hair in my goatee.

  3. Hey! We share a birthday! I have a few years on you though - this one upcoming will be about an uneventful number. I can relate to the aches thing but it didn't kick in until precisely the year I turned 40. The WEEK of my 40th, I was getting out of bed.....geez how I wanted to lie and say I was rock climbing or lifting mega weights but no - I was getting.out.of.bed. I rolled to the floor and felt as if I'd been speared in the back with a hot poker. It was extremely painful - I stay there on all fours screaming for Hubs to come get me. Apparently I rib had decided to break free from the constrains of the rest of the cage. No wonder I felt I was being skewered with a curling iron. Happy birthday to me!

    So! Let's live it up and celebrate (as much as one can celebrate on a Tuesday) as long as we don't hurt ourselves. We'll have to report back to see if each of us is okay, vertical and all in one piece!

  4. I've spent many birthdays at the MOS. My last one, in fact. But without puking cubs.

  5. And just wait 'til you hit 40. I've got a heat pack on my neck as I type this and a tube of icy hot in the bedside table drawer at all times. I start each day with a couple Aleve. Good times. When M1 was a cub we spent the night at the Zoo. It was a blast, but yeah - when you described the hall of snorers and the granola bars it was just like being there again! Happy almost birthday!