Monday, August 13, 2012

The Cape Cod Adventure: Day 2

I have pictures that need to be uploaded, however due to the crappy service for my wireless card and the fact that there is not WI-fi here at the house, I cannot upload the pictures yet.  I will take my laptop out tomorrow and upload them at a hotspot, thanks for your patience....or something like that.

So day two of our adventure is in the books and guess what we did?

Yup, us, the Not So Beach People, went to the beach.  The Minions had fun and I have to admit I had some fun too snorkeling with them and watching the hermit crabs mate, it was pretty cool.  Have you ever seen a hermit crab mate?  Me neither but that is what I told the Minions they were doing, I sounded all oceanographic and shit.  I did get to take home two things from the beach though, sand embedded in my scrotum and a sunburn on my back from where I decided that I was not the worst looking dude on the beach.  Oh well, live and learn.

One thing I figured out today was the difference between a free beach and a pay beach.  We went to a free beach and 95 % of it was seaweed and you all know how much I despise Icky Toes.  Also at a free beach there are no showers to rinse the sticky, salty sand off of you.  Yes, we will be going to the beach again, just this time we will cough up the money to get in.

We headed back home and I remembered that last night while we were outside, I saw that the house we are staying at has an outdoor shower.

 The only time I shower outdoors is when I am camping and that usually consists of either a freezing stream or a bladder hung from a tree branch.  This shower is enclosed as you could see, but still there was that daring aspect of being naked and scaring the crap out of the neighbors.  I mean who wants to see me, a resemblance of a waterlogged Wookie traipsing through the backyard.  Someone might call the Bigfoot hunters or something.

So I grabbed my floofy, body wash, shampoo and towel and head outside to the shower. I was setting everything up and then I heard it, the swarm of wasps coming right at me.  Like a Jedi, I dodged their foot long stingers and slammed the door to the shower.  Narrowly escaping the swarm of deadly wasps, I settled for a shower inside the house where it was much safer.  I already had sand embedded in places sand shouldn't be, I didn't need wasp stingers there too.

For dinner we decided to go easy compared to last night's lobster feast, plus it would be safer for anyone in a twenty foot radius of me, so we went to an all you can eat Chinese/American/Italian/Japanese buffet.  This place was crazy, it had seven buffet bars and the people watching was fantastic!  There were people of every shape and size there.  You could definitely tell the pros from the amateurs at this place.  The pros walked in and scoped out the buffet, pointing and whispering to each other the plan of attack.  They would get seated and go up in pairs, starting at opposite sides of the buffet.  Within five minutes, their plates were loaded and they were sitting down.  Three or four trips later, all within a twenty minute span, they were done.  Their tables showing the remains of the hunt.  If some starving Ethiopian saw that, they would probably have heart failure from the amount of food they consumed and left behind.

We would fall under the amateur group, picking our way around the buffet and only making two trips.  It's not that I can't pack away the food, trust me I can, it's just that I know my limits and how not to make a swine of myself.

There you have the gist of day two.  Tomorrow we are planning on some more adventures, maybe even up to Provincetown!  That should be enough fodder for two or three blog postings, wish me luck!

Look!  It's a tramp stamp!


  1. It's so interesting to read about someone's vacation to Cape Cod. Sometimes I drive around town and think that I would hate to come here on my vacation. Then I up and go to NH where they're probably thinking the same thing.
    Just an FYI - it's Carnival Week in P-Town. Be prepared, you might have to explain more to your minions than mating hermit crabs...

    1. Yup, we ixnayed P-town today, thanks for the heads up!

  2. I've heard there are WASPS at the Cape. ;) KIDDING!