Oh...sorry, not those kind of nads, I've already done that right here, I'm talking about National Anti-Instagram Day. Instagram has been something that has been poking me in the kidney, prodding me to write about it, but I haven't yet. It really hasn't bothered me enough to do so...until now.
I have always despised Instagram ever since I started seeing them crop up on Fakebook. At first I thought to myself, "Self," I says, "That's kinda gay and not the farting rainbows and watching Magic Mike kind of gay." But I didn't let it bother me, I let it go like water off a duck's ass. That was until two days ago....
I quote, "It's a fast, beautiful and fun way to share your photos with friends and family." Yeah, so isn't taking a fucking picture and emailing it to your friends and family! I quote again, "Snap a picture, choose a filter to transform its look and feel, the post to Instagram. Share to Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr too - it's as easy as pie. It's photo sharing, reinvented. Oh yeah, did we mention it's free?" What the hell? Just eliminate the middle man, bypass uploading them to Instagram, use the filters that are usually preloaded into your phone (because that's how you're SUPPOSED to take pictures right?) and upload to your favorite bragging social site.
Your kid doesn't look like he/she/it belongs in the 1960's, especially if he/she/it is wearing the latest greatest pair of Crocs....Crocs, for one, are asinine, and two, they weren't invented yet, who are you trying to fool? Your 2012 Toyota Camry looks really shitty with the grainy, brownish colored filter. It looks like you drive it between a cow's legs while it was taking a shit. Just stop...please.
Now, as a student of the graphics, I understand the importance of using different filters to make different effects for the photos you want to alter. I do it all the time, make the black and white, sepia, put a burnt edge on it to look like it was in the wild west, I do it, I get it. But, not for everyday photos people? You are ruining the magic of photo alteration by supporting Instagram. Now when graphic artists show off their latest photo show, people will not "ohh and ahh" over it like they used to, now they will look at you and tell you that there's an app for that...fuck you Steve Jobs!
So, as I partake in NAD, I will show my support by posting non Instagram photos and proving that you don't need that silly little app to enjoy pictures. I encourage everyone out there in the blogosphere reading this to join myself, SFM and Blondie to post NON-Instagram pictures to your blog, Facebook, Twitter or whatever social freak show site you use. Long live NAD!
|Taken from my cell phone...only because I didn't have a camera with me.|
|No Instagram required here, straight up 1970's picture bitch!|
|Minion #3...taking a #3|
|A Cubmaster's gotta do, what a Cubmaster's gotta do.|
|If there was any doubt I'm not a vegetarian|
|Shithead and Kahlua|
|Our wiener dog...literally.|