Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda and Pimping A Monkey

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda, have been the three words I have been using the past week.  I coulda done that, I shoulda did this, I woulda done it that way.  Like, I coulda entered Dude Write last week, I shoudla wrote more blog entries and I woulda if I was so busy with this pesky thing called life.

For the first time since Dude Write started I did not submit an entry into the challenge, thus allowing The Six Finger Monkey to win with his Gramma post....actually I want to take that back it was a very heartfelt post and hit home because of my two losses this year, although I did allow him to win by not entering.  I even wrote a post about the Sticky Situation in Quebec and how their Fort Knox of maple syrup was broken into...I coulda easily uploaded that into the challenge and given Six a run for his money, him and his damn 20 votes anyway (again, just kidding Six, you know I love you...in a platonic way of course).


I shoulda did more blog posts, there were easy targets the past week too.  I shoulda wrote about Minion #1 and #2 starting school and how they have no problem getting up at the crack ass of dawn all summer long and now you need a cattle prod to rouse them.  I shoulda wrote about the quick glimpse of the girl with two heads I saw on TV (but Six already did it) and pondered if you were having sex with her, would that be considered a threesome?  I shoulda posted about the wonderful Commonwealth I reside in and how a suburb of Boston is banning styrofoam and how the Mayor made Martin Luther King have a sex change.  Hell, I shoulda wrote about the primary in which I didn't vote in because I don't like any candidate whatsoever.

 Our two party system is a steaming pile of dog shit looking at itself in the mirror. - Lewis Black

I woulda done all of those and more if September didn't roll around.  September is the start of, well, fucking everything.  School traditionally starts in September, Scouting starts in September, winter snow tire season starts in September (in New England anyway) and fundraising starts in Septemeber.  Schools sure know how to put the FU in fundraising.  The kids come home with more pamphlets about pictures, pies, candles, Butter Braids, and shit you can buy at Walmart for half as much.  Yup I woulda done a lot more in the past week that I have been MIA.

OK, now I need to come clean, I fell into a funk and not the kind of funk you find between your toes or in your belly button (go ahead, stick your finger in your bell button and smell it).  I was in a funk where I didn't want to do anything, write, work, think, plan and so on.  It's nothing major and everyone goes through it, hell I find it hard to believe there are people more fucked up than I am.  It was a combination of missing my parents (Six, I will write about missing them for Dude Write and kick everyone's asses with the sympathy vote...again joking, great post, blogger from another logger) and beginning the fall season where both of them went into the hospital/nursing home a year ago.

Then I remembered, I have you guys as a therapist..for FREE!  I promise that I have some posts sitting in the hopper waiting to be flushed out soon. 

22 comments:

  1. Hm… Let’s see here. Not only am I the inaugural Diamond Club member, but the first-ever two-time Diamond Club winner and now THREE-time winner and every time we’ve gone up against each other I have smoked you like a piece of hard salami.

    If anything, you should be thanking me for not entering Dude Write 2, giving you the opportunity to actually win.

    That said, thanks for pimping my blog here - perhaps I will do the same (when you actually BEAT ME in a Dude Write competition). Come to think of it, maybe we could benefit from a little blog rivalry - ya know? Mano a mano -- in a non-gay way (that's how we say platonic on Planet Six).

    Seriously though, you rock (but not as much as I do!)

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    1. We well, um, they almost renamed the Platinum award to the Who Woulda Thought? award...yeah so take that LOL.

      Oh I will find a way to beat you, mark my words, your uphams will come...in a really not gay way. I think we could be friends with benefits as in a little blog rivalry.

      I do rock, I know.

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    2. Oh yeah, I knew I did something before you did...I was the first one to win all three of the coveted awards in Dude Write!

      This reminds me of the episode of South Park where everything they did the Simpsons did it first...

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  2. Damon, knowing Kevin personally, anything he gets involved with is at least a little gay.

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    1. Funny, I don't know anyone named anonymous....

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  3. I just know Paula Deen has a little something to do with those butter braids...

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    1. You know it! That southern, white haired bitch...

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  4. I thought perhaps you were out solving the maple syrup caper single handedly. But alas no you were swamped under back to school forms as well. Remind me why we have to fill out this paper work again when nothing has changed?
    ps. Where are they banning stryofoam? I'm moving.

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    1. I thought about becoming Inspector Gadget and solving the crime of the century for the Canucks.

      We have to fill out all of these forms because the schools loose them over the summer.

      Brookline would be the town trying the ban styrofoam containers.

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    2. I suggested to my friends in Ottawa they just look for the guy at the supermarket buying 1,000 boxes of pancake mix. Seems simple enough. My husband just came home with the preschool forms (both sets) will this torture never end!

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    3. In Concord they tried to pass a law to get outdoor cats on leashes. Maybe I should move there as I'd fit right in.

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  5. WOW on the Styrofoam ban, I hadn't realized it's deadly properties... hmmm. At least they aren't outlawing bubble wrap!

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    1. That's next! There's a town that tried banning bottled water because of the plastic.

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    2. Seriously? Bottled Water? Hmmm... Someone should find out who is exactly in charge of banning things so we can write blog posts about how their life must suck. :)

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    3. They're talking about banning plastic grocery shopping bags in some parts of Jersey. This state is off the rails in terms of how much of a police state it is. One stupid thing after another. I'm all for being more "green", but when they start charging for and then banning plastic grocery bags? Oy.

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  6. I found myself falling into a funk too but did the opposite of what you did and cranked out a bunch of posts after I said I was scaling back. We are a great bunch of therapists! I hope things are looking up now.

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    1. It is a great source of therapy! Things are looking up though thanks!

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  7. Seems like a lot of us have fallen into that funk lately, I know it hit me hard and am just now trying to claw my way out.

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  8. Glad you are over your funk! Mine lasted over a month! It wasn't so much a funk as really not having the time to dedicate to blogging. Life sometimes gets in the way...its ok!!!

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    1. I get those in those funks too. I'm glad you guys are all crawling out and I am too. Therapy, definitely and a great support network. Humor is the best medicine. That and oxycontin. ;)

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    2. Oh - PS Congrats on your Diamond Card Kevin! Way to come back and bust one out! Woot!

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