Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda and Pimping A Monkey

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda, have been the three words I have been using the past week.  I coulda done that, I shoulda did this, I woulda done it that way.  Like, I coulda entered Dude Write last week, I shoudla wrote more blog entries and I woulda if I was so busy with this pesky thing called life.

For the first time since Dude Write started I did not submit an entry into the challenge, thus allowing The Six Finger Monkey to win with his Gramma post....actually I want to take that back it was a very heartfelt post and hit home because of my two losses this year, although I did allow him to win by not entering.  I even wrote a post about the Sticky Situation in Quebec and how their Fort Knox of maple syrup was broken into...I coulda easily uploaded that into the challenge and given Six a run for his money, him and his damn 20 votes anyway (again, just kidding Six, you know I love you...in a platonic way of course).

I shoulda did more blog posts, there were easy targets the past week too.  I shoulda wrote about Minion #1 and #2 starting school and how they have no problem getting up at the crack ass of dawn all summer long and now you need a cattle prod to rouse them.  I shoulda wrote about the quick glimpse of the girl with two heads I saw on TV (but Six already did it) and pondered if you were having sex with her, would that be considered a threesome?  I shoulda posted about the wonderful Commonwealth I reside in and how a suburb of Boston is banning styrofoam and how the Mayor made Martin Luther King have a sex change.  Hell, I shoulda wrote about the primary in which I didn't vote in because I don't like any candidate whatsoever.

 Our two party system is a steaming pile of dog shit looking at itself in the mirror. - Lewis Black

I woulda done all of those and more if September didn't roll around.  September is the start of, well, fucking everything.  School traditionally starts in September, Scouting starts in September, winter snow tire season starts in September (in New England anyway) and fundraising starts in Septemeber.  Schools sure know how to put the FU in fundraising.  The kids come home with more pamphlets about pictures, pies, candles, Butter Braids, and shit you can buy at Walmart for half as much.  Yup I woulda done a lot more in the past week that I have been MIA.

OK, now I need to come clean, I fell into a funk and not the kind of funk you find between your toes or in your belly button (go ahead, stick your finger in your bell button and smell it).  I was in a funk where I didn't want to do anything, write, work, think, plan and so on.  It's nothing major and everyone goes through it, hell I find it hard to believe there are people more fucked up than I am.  It was a combination of missing my parents (Six, I will write about missing them for Dude Write and kick everyone's asses with the sympathy vote...again joking, great post, blogger from another logger) and beginning the fall season where both of them went into the hospital/nursing home a year ago.

Then I remembered, I have you guys as a therapist..for FREE!  I promise that I have some posts sitting in the hopper waiting to be flushed out soon.