Monday, July 16, 2012

50 Shades of F'd Up

OK, so, here's the deal, this is not going to be a normal blog post more of an update. 

Everyone has heard of 50 Shades of Grey, if you haven't, well what the fuck?  So anyway, 50 Shades of Grey is supposed to be some sort of fictional erotic story about two people having lots of sex and in different ways or porn as us guys call it.

Too classy to watch porn, but they will read the shit out of it.
I was helping my friend move his mom out of her old house and into her new one and a mutual friend had asked if the Trophy had read the book yet.  I told him no, I don't need her having any sort of super expectations of how our sex life could be, that would be way too much pressure on me and I don't work very well under pressure.  He then proceeded to inform me that not only did he buy it for his fiancee but he has read some of it....

All I could picture was this....
 After the initial burst of uncontrollable laughter, I looked at him and asked in a serious tone, "Is it as, um, fucked up as everyone says it is?"

"And then some."

As we moved the furniture I had time to dwell on this and I thought of a perfect thing for my blog.  I will interview someone who has read the book and get her reaction!  Brilliant!  Or not....I thought some more, the only one I would feel comfortable enough to interview is my sibling from another dribbling's wife and well, honestly that would make me feel pretty awkward...

"So, after reading this epic novel of brutal sex and different positions you've never heard of, has your bedroom become more intense?"

Some things are better left unsaid and unheard so I crushed that idea like a beer can.  Then it hit me, my moving buddy said he read some of it, he's a guy, that means I can read it. 

So here's the deal, I am going to purchase 50 Shades of Grey (just the first book, from what they tell me there is a trilogy...wow, how fucked up sexually can you be?) and read it.  After each chapter I will transcribe the story in my own words to you, my faithful Minion followers.  Yes, there will be spoilers but deal with it.  So once I get the book I will begin my blog report called....


14 comments:

  1. You've got "porn" as a keyword. Get ready...your stats are about to get 50 shades of wacko perky! Another great post would be your report of your keyword stats! Great idea to report on the book. I haven't read it and I'm not going to, though The Hubby asked me why I wasn't reading it like every other female on the planet. I think that's probably why. ;) So I'll learn something when I read your reports!

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    1. Yeah...when I submitted the post I said to myself, I just increased my stats...oh well.

      I was actually just talking to the Trophy about my keyword stats, they are too much!

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  2. 50 shades will teach you the art of giving a woman MIND BLOWING orgasms simply by:

    - Looking at her
    - Breathing on her (in a sexy way)
    - Undressing her
    - When you first enter her
    - and about 4-5 more times during the actual sex.

    ...or it may just be fucking up an entire generation of women by setting expectations WAY too high.

    ...you know, either/or...

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    1. I want to get it from a guy's perspective and yeah I agree with you, the expectations are going to be way to high...we're screwed.

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  3. As a woman who has not read, nor plan to read the trilogy or any part thereof, I'm really looking forward to your interpretation! This should be a hoot!

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    1. You are like the Trophy, she doesn't want to read it but is interested on my take on it. The book has been downloaded and ready to be read...

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  4. Can't wait for your review on the book. :)

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    1. Chapter 1 has been read and the review is in the hopper....

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  5. Oh I read them. They were not worth my time. Yet I did read them all. Badly written and I would much rather watch free internet porn.

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    1. Ah the good old fashioned youporn.com or xnxx.com! Not that I have ever been to those sites...

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  6. This is not a book that I would pay money for, (not when there's proper porn about)so I eagerly await your review!

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    1. The wait is soon over, I will be releasing it this weekend!

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  7. I welcome the challenge. All women should read it and then expect all of the men to do all sorts of crazy ninja like things in bed. How awesome is that? I don't fear the expectations.

    That being said, neither my wife nor I have any interest in reading this stuff. Does it have pictures? I will watch for your update.

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