Oh, Woe Is Me

Seeing this is my first REAL blog post since July, I thought it fitting that I come back in style and hook up with one of my favorite bloggers, the artist formally known as ModMomBeyondIndieDom, Elleroy (and by hooking up I mean linking this post to her I Don't Like Mondays link up NOT the Olivia Newton John, Let's Get Physical type of hook up).

Everyone knows that Facebook goes through more changes than a puberty stricken teen and that it irks most everyone that uses Facebook, actually I am still waiting for those who claim "If Facebook changes one more time, I'm closing my account!" to actually close their account and leave.  They threaten like it's a savings bank or something.  Do you really think Mr. Sucken-burg will care if you, the super cat-meme poster closes up shop and heads off to the next social media outlet?  Nope he doesn't, he's too busy having a Korean girl wipe his ass with $100 bills.

There have been some new trends on Facebook since I have been on my sabbatical and some of them are down right annoying, at least to me and I'm the one who is writing this post and you're the one who is reading it so in perspective, they're annoying to you too.  One trend is people airing their dirty laundry on Facebook.  Not the "vague-bookers" who post things like "Oh, woe is me, will this ever end?" but the ones who step up to the plate, whip their shit out and let everyone and their dead grandma see what is happening in their fucked up little world.  There's nothing vague about it, they tell it all in ever sordid detail.  That's not even the messed up part.  They're shocked and appalled that everyone knows what happened.  Of course they know what happened you idiot, your status update went viral faster than the Elf on the Shelf post from good old Glory Hound.  Two words...dumb ass.

Another little trend is this Bitstrip thing.  First, I need to come clean.  I did one just to see what the hype was all about.  Nada.  That's what it's about, yet everyone is converting themselves into cute little cartoon characters and placing themselves into unrealistic situations with friends.  What's worse is that the "dirty laundry" posters now have another outlet for telling people what has been happening, just this way it doesn't seem so bad when the person is sitting in divorce court and there is a humorous quip at the bottom of the cartoon.  Guess what, they're not that funny and they are littering everyone's timelines.

What is up with the emotions you can use on Facebook now?  I just did my Jerry Seinfeld impression for you.  Now you don't even have to waste your time updating your status all you have to do is click on the little smiley face and simply tell everyone how you're feeling.  You can choose anything from happy and sad to depressed and lost.  Awesome.  A simple click and you tell the whole world that you're confused.

Speaking of people who constantly look for sympathy...Bitstrip has given another Fakebooker yet another way to tell everyone that they have a migraine or that they feel fat or that their dog just took a shit on their carpet.  These updaters use Facebook and Bitstrips in hopes that someone will take pity on them and ask them if everything is OK or maybe lend a shoulder to cry on.

Maybe I should try an experiment with social media, maybe I should vague-book or start using Bitstrips instead of blogging and see how many people offer a prayer candle or feel compelled to wonder if I'm OK.  I'll start right now, I am going to air my dirty laundry for you.