Thursday, October 11, 2012

You Can Wish In One Hand...

...and shit in the other and see which fills up first.

Welcome to my first ever entry for Theme Thursday!  As you know, if you read my last post, I was solicited approached by a group of women Mod Mom Beyond IndieDom to participate each week for a Dad's point of view.  This weeks theme is Dream Jobs.  At first I asked Minions #1 and #2 what their dream jobs would be and well, I might as well have asked a bag full of cats to receive a more solid response.

#1 wants to be a Lego Engineer, he likes playing with Legos so that makes sense, then I explained he would have to go to eight more years of school AFTER he got out of school and he withdrew his answer...for now.

#2 wants to be a wizard and is waiting for his acceptance letter to Hogwarts, wants to be an Avenger and is waiting for Nick Fury to show up, wants to be a Jedi Knight, wants to be a teacher, wants to be an etc., etc. etc.  I'll come back to him in a few years.

So in turn I will tell you about my dream job or jobs.

I think everyone has a dream job.  Some lucky bastards have it currently but most of us schleps still wish for our dream job.  Let's face it, 90% of us despise our job and wish we could do something else, something we enjoy doing.  I have a three phase dream job actually, let me explain.

Don't be hating...
Phase 1 was when I was growing up or older I should say, I wanted to be a graphic designer and design video games.  Everyone said I would be great at it because I loved working with computers, was able to draw pretty well and I had a vivid imagination.  I actually went to college for graphic arts but times change and so did reality.  I ended up in the retail business and not a glorious high end electronics business either.

This could have been mine
Phase 2 would be my 16-22 age range.  I wanted to be either a professional Scouter or a permanent Program Director for a Boy Scout Camp.  However I chose not to become a professional Scouter for two reasons, you needed a four year degree, which I do not have and unfortunately, it's like Oz, when you see what is behind the curtain, the magic is lost.  I didn't want to loose the magic, I had peeked through the slits of the curtain and saw enough so I went with the Program Director job.  Well, that's just not going to happen, most Boy Scout camps run for about eight weeks in the summer and you don't get paid for the remaining 44, plus I got married and needed to face reality in the face.

Mmmmm, french fries....drool.
Phase 3 is the present day.  I would love to be able to open my own themed restaurant or bar.  You know how there are specialty hot dog or burger places that allow you to create your own monstrosity with whatever items you want on said dog or burger?  Well they are forgetting what I feel is the best part of the meal, the french fries.  Let's get serious for a minute, the fries always get pushed to the side and are an after thought to most people, they are usually what remains on the plate after you have devoured your mammoth burger or overflowing wiener because you are too full to eat them.  I for one think the french fries are the best part of the meal, provided they are cooked right.

At my restaurant, I've Fried and Gone to Heaven or I.F.G.H., the fries would be the main part of the meal and you can get a side of burger or hot dog with it.  Your plate would be a heaping pile of hot crispy fries, any style you want (more on that in a second) and you would have two mini burgers or two mini hot dogs for a side.  You would be able to choose what style fries you want too!  I would offer traditional fast food style fries, shoe string fries, steak fries, sweet potato fries, those smiley face fries, curly fries and even tater tots.  They would be deep fried to perfection, crispy on the outside and soft on the inside, they would be a angelic hue of golden brown and we would only use a good frying oil.  They would not be too greasy and they won't be soggy but the best is yet to come...

Guaranteed to make you fart!
After you receive your potatoey (new word people!) goodness, you would have a chance to go to our condiment bar.  Most people use ketchup for their fries, but here at I.F.G.H. you would have a plethora of dipping sauces and items you can put on your fries.  You could load your fries up with any combination of chili, onions, hot peppers, different cheeses and any other item you would like to put on your fries, if we don't got it, we'll get it...within reason.  We would offer you not only ketchup but mayonnaise, BBQ sauce, sweet and sour sauce, all different kinds of mustard, Dijon ketchup (thanks Bare Naked Ladies) and any other dipping sauce that you could possibly think of for your fries, again, if we don't got it, we'll get it.

So that would be my dream job, to own a successful niche restaurant called I've Fried and Gone to Heaven...yeah but alas, refer to my title and opening line.

Or I could pursue my life long dream of being a stand up comic...a little known fact about me and a different blog post for a different time.

Open mic anyone?
So, being Theme Thursday, all of the bloggers below are doing the same theme and each of them have a different outlook and I'm sure different dream jobs, go and check them out by clicking the links and you're good to go...did I mention I'm the only Dude in this thing?

Aspiring to the Middle http://mf-aspiring.blogspot.com/
Cloudy With a Chance of Wine http://cloudywithachanceofwine.com/
I like beer and babies. http://www.ilikebeerandbabies.com/
a calibama state of mind http://calibamamom.wordpress.com/
Shit I Don't Tell Most People http://shitidonttell.blogspot.com/
Mom With Her Running Shoes On http://momwithherrunningshoeson.blogspot.com/
The Insomniac's Dream http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/

29 comments:

  1. My family would love your restaurant. My son would order smiley fries with honey mustard, and my husband would get chili cheese waffle fries with steak. I would order chicken fajita fries, if that's available.

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    1. It would be available as a side order of course.

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  2. I would eat at your restaurant. I'd eat there everyday if I could there, probably twice.

    I think my ideal job would be something simple and outdoors, like being a postman.Obviously it's not very well paid, so it would be a job I could do once I've earned enough money and don't have so much financial responsibility, but walking round delivering letters seems like bliss to me. When you're an office worker, any outside job seems like a dream.

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    1. That's what Phase two was supposed to be, spend as much time outside as I could.

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  3. Dude, what a great idea! You should totally get a food truck going. People would line up, starting with me.

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    1. Hmmm...start small and then get bigger, I like that idea.

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  4. I am incredibly susceptible to suggestion and now I *really* want some cheese fries. That's a difficult dish to get right though - the fries have to be really crispy in order to stand up to the goopy melted cheese. I have faith in you though - you can do it! Please post when you have opened your restaurant - I can't wait!

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    1. You are correct, but we will cook your fries to order if you want...just don't ask for soggy limp fries.

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  5. OMGosh you should seriously consider opening that bar and grill!!!
    And, you could also have an open mic comedy night! :) Great post!

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    1. Hmmmmm good idea on double dipping my dream jobs, I like it.

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  6. We're going to get along, as I think fries are the best part of the meal. Why? Because I'm a woman and I typically don't allow myself to eat fried stuff since I'm almost always on some sort of a diet. So when I get to eat out (which is very, very rare) or order room service, I almost always order a plate of fries. And I will dip these fries into whatever condiment is on someone else's plate - ketchup, mustard, mayo, gravy....Yum.

    Love the restaurant name idea, by the way. Oh, and the opening line made me "LOL". ;)

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    1. My favorite is KFC's gravy for dipping, but the problem is their fries are usually soggy limp ass fries.

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  7. sounds like a good food truck theme. I actually got fries from a fry truck like that years ago. I was on vacation and was obsessed with the theme, except The temp outside was 100+ degrees, the fry truck was parked in a parking lot covered in pavement so add 20 degrees to that temp. Then you have to add temp for the fryers inside the truck/van thing. Face it your gonna be hot, not to mention stink to high heaven from all the grease that will cover-every-friggin-surface. Heavy sighhhhh. That was my dream job about 20 yrs ago. I even went so far as to cost it all out. Then I spent months figuring out where to park it, the beach..strategically close to high schools....outdoor events, like soccer ball games etc....
    But when would I find the time, I had a house full of three kids five years apart. And a husband that worked out of town during the week....Ahh the fantasy still lives, but now I have g'kids to look after.
    Let me know where YOUR gonna park, I LUV FRIES

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    1. Well unfortunately unless you live in Massachusetts, I would imagine the drive to get the fries would be tough, but I'll keep you posted.

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  8. NICE. I completely agree that you should go for it! Maybe even apply for that show "America's Next Greatest Restaurant" (if it's still around). This idea would be a winner for sure! And as Gossip Girl said, you could have open mic comedy night....2 dreams realized. Not to mention that I would totally hook you up with some of my kick-ass, Southern 'white bbq sauce' for dipping. WTF are you waiting for? Just do it....niche restaurants are the BEST.

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    1. The problem I have is....lack of fundage to open the restaurant :-). However I would be interested in your Southern white BBQ sauce.

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  9. The Hubby and I would totally eat here. don't forget a plethora of soft drinks and beer. Sounds like a realistic dream. put the minions to work for you and you'll get to enjoy more antics

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    1. Oh of course I would have a vast variety of beer! That's just a given!

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  10. I literally fantasize about french fries.
    It is pretty much the main reason I run, go to the gym and teach spin class.
    They are also the reason I gained 35 pounds with the second baby.

    Can I order my fries soggy?
    Those are the best.

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    1. Ohhhh, there is a rule about soggy limp ass French fries...but I might be able to change that....

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  11. I have a dream job and it's quite similar to yours. I want to open up a restaurant. Simply called "Workingdan's". It is a bar and grill type place. I would have a full menu of fantastic grilled (or smoked) items such as steak, ribs, burgers, etc. Have I mentioned I'm an awesome cook? My menu is already in place. Just need the funds and knowledge to make it happen.

    But here is the catch. I will have interactive tables. Not sure if you have seen or heard of them but they are basically touch screen computers. People will be able to view the menu and place their order through the tables. Afterwards, they will be able to read my blog right there on the table. How cool is that?

    The place will be decorated with random cartoon drawings that I have done over the course of my blog. There will even be a Wall of Shame! I will have an eating challenge (like what you see on Man vs Food) and those who complete it will get their name on the Wall of Shame...plus a T-shirt.

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    1. Dan, I would totally be there! I think your idea for this is awesome, go out and get a loan dude, or be like me and be too scared to take the leap.

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  12. Kevin, for the love of all that is deep fried - you must make this dream a reality. It is an awesome idea and the title is brilliant. I'm a French fry junkie and I am on the same page about the fry being número uno.
    You need mayo on that condiment list bro. You need solis. You need HP sauce and A-1 and ranch and listen...they will come. From far and wide. I'm starving right now from reading this. Put together a kick starter campaign. Whatever. Just HURRY UP. I'm hungry. And you could say "would you like a burger with that?"

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    1. Mayo is a given, it will be a staple there like ranch dressing. There's only one thing holding me back, the lack of fundage.

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  13. That's a brilliant idea. Truly. I would waddle there every day. And I really do mean waddle.

    You really need to make this happen before some entrepreneur stumbles upon your blog and steals it all for himself. On a completely unrelated note, you wouldn't happen to know where I could find a good business loan, do you...?

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    1. All ideas and thoughts are copywrited as described below...I hope :-)

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  14. I think I just orgasmed thinking of all the times I would eat there. Of course, I'll be 400 lbs so I'm going to need to count on the food to do that.

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