Anonymous, You Pussy

I love getting comments, a fellow blogger summed it up perfectly by saying, it's like finding the stray Chicken McNugget in your french fries, in other words it's a great feeling.  One thing that has been on the rise is the amount of anonymous comments I have been getting.  I used to have an open comment section because there are some people who comment but are nutless enough to leave their name, which is fine, I still read them and try to respond to them, but then I started getting the SPAM (and not the gelatinous canned meat) anonymous comments.

I have it set up that every time I get a comment, Blogger sends me an email so I can read it right then and there.  90% of the time when a SPAM anonymous comment appears, Blogger is smart enough NOT to post it.  Sure, nobody is perfect and a few slip in but whatever, no biggie.  Back to my thought, I get an email every time I get a comment so I can read the SPAM anonymous comments and most of them are things like refinancing your mortgage or increasing your stamina but I got one the other day that I saved in my email box, it was posted to my More Power! post.  Here is the email:

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "More Power!":

The Doc Johnson Monique Alexander Pussy Pocket Pal is
cast from the woman herself and makes the perfect companion.
You don't even need to buy it dinner first.. Tonight is Night Out by Little Man Ice.... The Pocket Pussy VS the real pussy Videos ... Title: The Pocket Pussy VS the real pussy : Description: The Pocket Pussy VS the real pussy.
Feel free to visit my web blog pocket pussy

Feel free to re-read it if you have to, it took me a few times to get it to sink in.  Alright, now let me break it down for you because this comment raises all kinds of questions...

The Doc Johnson Monique Alexander Pussy Pocket Pal is
cast from the woman herself and makes the perfect companion.

First, who is Doc Johnson and Monique Alexander or are they the same person?  Is the Pussy Pocket Pal made from Monique Alexander's pussy?  How would I know if I like the feel of Monique?  Who the hell needs to carry a fake rubber vagina in their pocket?  I am sure it DOES NOT make the perfect companion.  How do they cast the mold?  That must hurt like hell unless Monique is a corpse and that is just fucked up right there.  Is it like my Minion's Creepy Crawler set where they squeeze hot slime into a hard plastic mold?  There are so many unanswered questions there.

You don't even need to buy it dinner first..

Whew!  Thank the maker!  That would be awkward on the first date.  You're sitting at a table for two and the waiter comes over to take your order.  "I'll have the steak, medium rare and the rubber twat will have the tuna."  The waiter would come back and offer bread as a starter and you would have to refuse because your date would get a yeast infection (try the shrimp, I'm here all night).

Tonight is Night Out by Little Man Ice

What the fajita does that mean?  I thought you were trying to sell me a portable masturbation device not a dating guide by some white rapper? It's OK, I can say that, I'm white.  Wait a minute, I thought I didn't have to take the Pocket Pussy out to dinner but now you are suggesting I go clubbing with Monique's vag instead?  It can't be a very good dancer.  "Oh my God Becky, look...at...that...twat, it's like stuck to the floor."


The Pocket Pussy VS the real pussy Videos ... Title: The Pocket Pussy VS the real pussy : Description: The Pocket Pussy VS the real pussy.

I did not check the video out but I can only imagine that they answered some of my other questions about this little contraption.  How do you clean it?  Let's face it, guys make a mess, there's no way around it.  Are there testimonials?  Who would really show their face saying how great this product was?  "I bought Doc Johnson's product and it changed my life, I'll never need a real woman ever again."
   
Feel free to visit my web blog pocket pussy

Then they direct you to their blog.  What kind of blog is this?  Do you review sex products?  "After I tried the Doc Johnson Pocket Pussy, I was compelled to try out the Double Ended Super Snake."  Most blogs that I follow post anecdotes about their lives, do we get to read cute little anecdotes about the life of Monique Alexander?

Holy shitballs people, what is wrong with you?  I am curious though to how many people have actually used a portable masturbation device like this, I mean give yourselves a hand for shit's sake.  Yeah, I went there and did a dick joke.

I am entering this post into Dude Write this week, head on over and read the awesome Dude Bloggers and then go back and vote when the time comes!