I have decided to post a picture of a character from Star Wars for each letter too, just a little side note.
I had a tough time with the letter D this time around, I could have done dumbasses, douches or a whole slew of other D words but I chose to talk about Doctors.
I rarely go to the doctor but when I do there is something seriously wrong with me like a broken shoulder, bleeding from the ass (THAT'S a blog post on it's own) or my knee is blown out. The only other reason I go is to get a physical if and when needed, that's it. The last time I went to the doctors was to get my broken shoulder checked out after a car accident and my doctor sent me to a specialist. I asked her, "What is he a specialist for?" and she told me that he was a specialist for shoulders.
This got me thinking what other specialists are there in the medical profession? Does every body part have a specialist?
"Ouch, I broke my tibia."
"You better go see the tibiaologist."
After doing some research I can tell you that yes, pretty much every part of your body has a specialist attached to it if you need them, but the question still remains, what made them decide to specialize in that particular part of the anatomy. When going to med school, I'm sure there is a point in a budding doctor's schooling where they have to decide what road to take, kind of like the game of Life, but why did they choose what they chose?
Gynecologists. At what point in a doctor's schooling do they say, "Hey I know about pussies, I can be a gynecologist." What possesses them to have to look at sperm shoots all day long, wouldn't that get boring after a while? I mean you head home after a long day at the office and the last thing you want to see is another vagina or maybe not, but wouldn't it be like taking your work home with you?
Podiatrists. Let's face it feet are nasty, at least mine are. I was almost cast by Peter Jackson to walk with Frodo, Mary and Sam to Mt. Doom. I've heard of foot fetishes before but to make a profession out of it takes it to whole new level. I couldn't even imagine dealing with stinky ass feet on a daily basis. "I'm going to need you to shave your feet next time, Mrs. Jones and Dr. V. Gina called me to ask me to have you shave that too."
Dermatologists. Have you ever watch Austin Powers: Goldmember? You know the bad guy, Goldmember and his consistent eating of his dead skin? Yeah, that's what I picture people at the dermatologist look like. They go to the office with dead skin flapping all over and ask for an ointment. Imagine having to sweep up the floor of your office after each visit, you could sell it to a honky tonk bar because it's cheaper than sawdust. That and on top of the rashes, cuts and bumps...yuck.
Leprologists. Wait...wasn't the last case of leprosy recorded in the bible some 2000 years ago? Is there really a huge need for a Leprologist now a days? I mean even third world nations have that shit controlled. What year during med school do you decide that leprosy is a big issue and you should become a specialist in it? "You know what? I think I want to help people who have had body parts fall the fuck off."
Urologists. These doctors bring a whole new meaning to golden showers, they study that piss. What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a piss doctor. Are they watching fetish porns in med school and there is scene of three guys peeing on a girl and the epiphany hits? "I bet there are all sorts of things I should look at with that piss."
Anyway, I've rambled on long enough about doctors and if you're a doctor reading this...wow really? I'm honored but don't take offense if you happen to be a deflowered slut tunnel doctor.