Friday, April 5, 2013

A to Z Challenge: Earwax

Ephant Mon
Oh boy, letter E.  I thought about taking the easy way out and repost my Easter post from lat year's A to Z Challenge but The Trophy said I couldn't do it because I would be cheating myself...or some bullshit like that.  I could have posted about Ewoks or should I say the lack there of the name Ewok in Return of the Jedi, yeah check it out, not uttered once in the whole movie, but instead I look yet again at the Minions for inspiration.

All three Minions shower on a daily basis, even #3 (with our help of course).  We all know they don't exactly do a bang up job when it comes to cleanliness and you can read the original post HERE or go to to download the book I am in...hint, hint, nudge, nudge.  Anyway, the Minions do fairly well when it comes to showering now, with some exceptions...

Just the other evening we were sitting on the couch watching Girls Gone Wild Duck Dynasty and a commercial came on.

"Hey Minion #1, want some popcorn?"

"Huh?" (What do you mean huh?  You're worse than the cat with a tuna can.)

"Popcorn.  Do you want some?"

"What?" (Seriously?)



"Minion #2, do you want some popcorn too?"




"#2!" (At this point I feel live Dave calling for Alvin....)

"OK! "

As I'm getting the popcorn I stare at them wondering where their brains went and who took them, then I see it...the brown glop sticking out of #1's ear.  I walk over and look closer at this goo.

"When was the last time you cleaned your ears?"



"There's not reason to yell..." (Oh, now you hear me...)

Both of them have enough earwax to supply Yankee Candle at this point.  I grab a couple of Q-Tips and instruct them to dig the crap out.  After approximately seventeen Q-Tips each their ears seem to be clear.

"There doesn't that feel better?"


OK, maybe it's the brain damage and not the earwax...


  1. My son also has selective hearing...the earwax could be contributing, but like you, I suspect the brain damage

  2. I once was cleaning my ears with Q-tips and suddenly I went deaf in one ear. I panicked. I had three classes I had to go to, so went while deaf in one ear, then went to the health center. I wasn't permanently deaf like my imagination was telling me. I'd pushed some wax against my ear drum, so they flushed out my ear. To my imagination it was a miracle because I could hear again. lol

  3. Hahaha! That was gross. I already wrote about the time I though Spawn was growing hair under his armpits, only to realise on closer inspection, that it was dirt! :)

  4. Ew, nasty! Now it makes me want to go do a hydrogen peroxide treatment on my ears. I feel that I keep myself clean, and regularly swab my ears, but you should see the gunk that comes out when you I let the peroxide sit in my ear for a bit. I can only imagine what would come out of the boys ears!

  5. LOL! I (faintly) remember what it was like to be a kid and how you could zone out completely. Of course, I'm sure the earwax helps enormously.

  6. I laughed so hard. So hard. And not at you, or your disgusting plight, but because this is a common occurrence with both of my boys, too. Esp the youngest. They COULD make their own candles.

  7. My kids won't eat sweet potato casserole to this day because I always told them when they were young that they had sweet potato mash coming out of their ears.... hell, I just call it ear wax casserole now....