Wednesday, April 10, 2013

A To Z Challenge: Idiots

One badass bounty hunter.
What better topic to write about for the letter I than idiots.  The problem is these idiots are my own flesh and blood, these idiots are the Minions.

Minions #1 and #2 are in school and #3 stays home with the Trophy.  We went to the parent teacher conferences a little while back and both teachers told us what smart kids they were, they both apologized for us having to go there to waste our time because they wasn't anything to go over and both teachers told us they are far advanced academically.  #1's teacher actually used the word genius.  #1 is in third grade but in sixth grade reading and math level and #2 is in kindergarten but is reading Harry Potter chapter books and is in a group that reads to second graders.  Minion #3 is far advanced as well for his age at home with the Trophy.

The problem is I don't see it.

Lately #3 is turning into Beaker from the Muppets.  He has clear sentences and words but he gets too excited and starts talking WAY too fast.  When we ask him to slow down so we can understand him, he goes to the extreme and puts his hands in his mouth and mumbles.  On top of that he lacks common sense, granted he is only three but he should have enough common sense to NOT walk into a wall.  But put a book in front of him and he will tell you the story, he won't read it yet but he can tell you the story of the book.

#1 is nine going on nineteen, which means he is having growing pains.  This is the same kid who the teachers call a genius..again I don't see it.  Out of the three he probably has the least amount of idiot in him, however it's still there.  During dinner, we will look him straight in the eye and tell him after he is done eating to clean up the Legos he had out.  Once he is done eating he will get up, clear his place, put the dishes in the sink, throw his trash away and then get in the shower.  Legos and shower rhyme right?  When we ask him why he didn't pick up the Legos, he tells us he thought we said shower.  He's an idiot or maybe it's the earwax taking over.

Then there is #2.  #2 has turned into an Alzheimer patient...and don't groan on that, it's the only thing I can compare him to.  Everything he does he forgets the last step, it's the weirdest thing.  He cleans the litter box and does everything fine, right up to putting the top back on.  He will go into his room to get something and he forgets to turn the light off.  He will get dressed right up to putting a shirt on.  He pours himself a bowl of cereal and forgets the milk.  You get the picture.  The latest thing he has done was to try to sneak candy from Easter, needless to say he got caught not because we were smart enough to catch him but he was leaving candy wrappers in his hiding places, which were usually the bathrooms.  When we caught him we had it out with him but guess what?  He's an idiot like his brothers and he did it again, this time from #1's basket.

This goes back to the whole Bill Cosby kids have brain damage, they're loaded with it.


  1. My kids are the same way, and I'm sure if you asked them, they would say the same thing about me. LOL

  2. Laughing so hard as I commiserate (being the mother of honor students aged 13 and 16). I try to rationalize that they just use so much brain power at school that they cannot be taxed with anything else (regardless how simple) by the time they get home. You have now blown some holes in my theory with your #3...

  3. Just wait until they are teenagers! You think you got problems now? Just keep in mind that when they do reach the dreaded teens, their brains are growing, causing their synapses to misfire and so, when you ask them why they did sometime and they say, "I don't know.", they really don't know. Keep on keeping on, Dad; they do grow up eventually.

  4. It sounds like they are such geniuses that they don't have time for common sense and practicalities like the rest of us do :)

    They really do sound amazingly smart! I bet you were so proud at those conferences :)

  5. This is clearly one long humble brag. Yes, tell us again how spectacularly unique your children are. In all seriousness, you seem to have great kids and their advancement will surely be interesting. I wish you luck with how their quirks manifest as teens.

  6. Wow! Smart kids.
    Having spent a long time working with kids...faaar too long, I can tell you that Kianwi is right. The things that most people place as practical or important, the more advance child doesn't. Ask Spawn about paradoxes and he can waffle on for hours. Then ask him to put his pjs on, and he hasn't a bloody clue!. :)

  7. I'm enjoying your blog and your photos! And thanks for the chapter review of 50 Shades of Gray, which I haven't read. (Urk.) And good luck with your minions. Btw, I have a sibling whom my parents tried to get to clean up her room--constantly. Once it looked like she had. Then Dad opened her closet. Fining her didn't work because eventually she owed them enough to pay off the mortgage--if she'd had the money. (Just kidding. They gave up before that.)

  8. I so know what you mean. Granted, my kids aren't genius' but they are smart enough to know better than doing the stupid things they do. My son is 8, he's been tying his shoes forever. Last night, I had to explain how to tie a Walmart bag shut. And he couldn't get it. What the hell? It's just like your shoestrings, it's not that hard.