Tuesday, April 9, 2013

A To Z Challenge: Help Me!

Ah the letter H, the eighth letter of the alphabet...sons a bitches, I've got eighteen more letters to go, remind me why I signed up for this torture again?  Anyway, I shall go on.

Scoundrel?  I like the sound of that.
I am all about helping people, I mean I do subscribe to the Scout Oath where it says "To help other people at all times." and it's an old fashioned idea but I still try to live by the Motto of "Do A Good Turn Daily".  If I see an older person having troubles loading their car or a pregnant lady who dropped something I stop and help them out.  I hold the door for people and even let the dad who has one item and three kids go ahead of me.  I like to help people.

However there are some people I will not help.  I turn yet again to the wonderful world of Facebook...

You are scrolling through your Facebook feed, stalking checking up on people and one status jumps at you.

I need gas money this week.

OK it's not the worst status update you've seen but you know this person.  They smoke two packs a day, have nice clothes and lastly if they are updating Facebook, they either have internet or a cell phone.  Do I feel bad for you? No.  Am I going to help you?  No.  Do I think you should prioritize your life?  Yes.

Then there are the pictures of people holding signs up that say "If I get X amount of likes, I will get _______.

If the Minions did this, I would laugh my ass off.
Bullshit.  I subscribed to that once, it was the first one I saw.  The status said if they got a million likes they would name their first born Megatron.  I liked it and guess what?  I didn't hear about any kid barreling out of the sperm slide named Megatrron.  I can see why too, who would name their kid Megatron?  I mean Galvatron sure, but Megatron?  I am not going to like your picture because that is the laziest way to get something and it's asinine.  Sorry bud, you're not getting the heart transplant.

Let's jump away from Facebook for the next group of people.  Panhandlers.  Hell yeah I called them out.  Most of them are frauds.  First, it's uncomfortable when you're sitting at a stop light and there is a dude walking up and down the median holding a sign, staring at you and second, why is he wearing Nike sneakers when I can't afford Nikes.

Look, before you jump all over me about not helping the homeless or hungry, just stop right where you are.  I do help them.  I offer them food.  If they are truly homeless and hungry, they will take food.  If they refuse the food and want money, they are a fraud.  I also think they should work for their pay like other people do.  Don't just stand there holding a sign, do something to encourage people to pay you.  Play an instrument, sell an item, do something other than stand there.  If it's that easy to make money, I'll quit my job and stand outside for eight hours a day for living.

I get it, I really do.  People try to find the easiest way to get by but before I help you out, make sure you really need help.


  1. My daughter and I had a women-who I'd tagged right away as a panhandler-ask us for money for a coffee. I said no, and she moved on but then when someone gave her money-enough for a coffee,she kept begging. I smell a rat!

  2. People on your Facebook shill for gas money? Sheesh. I'd 86 'em. That's ridunkulous! I used to play guitar on Bleecker St. And Washington Square park. Not because I had to. I was supplementing my income. ;)

  3. There are pan handlers who station themselves off the expressway exit of the hospital where I have a weekly meeting. You are correct in your assumptions. These guys.literally take shifts. When one walks up, the other gathers his stuff and leaves. And they are always there. It is their full time job, begging. I'm the same as you, I like helping people, but that is one place I will never give money.

  4. OOps, gotta go change my facebook status to a plea for chocolate...thanks for the reminder!

  5. I had to laugh when you asked about why they had better sneakers then you, cos it's so true. When I was in my teens and out on the streets, we would watch this guy, arrive in his sports car, change out of his suit into some rags and then go begging for a couple of hours. After which he would gather up his bounty, change back into his suit and drive off, probably to his mansion. And all the while, we sat and watched slacked jaw. Probably works for the government now. :)

  6. Sometimes I feel like saying to panhandlers, "Sure, I'll take some change."

  7. The ONLY time I've ever given money to people on the street with a sign was when they had a super awesome sign. One guy I gave $5 too had one that said "HELP! The leprechauns ran away with The Easter Bunny! Need ransom money!", and there was another one that said "Betcha can't hit me with a quarter." - he was right. I tried. But I also have HORRIBLE aim!

    I've had this tab open for so long today that I can't remember where I found you, but I remember that I liked your comment on something, somewhere...
    I see that you also stalk a lot of the same people that I do.

    I'll be back.
    (That's a threat and a promise.)

  8. I'll help to a certain extent but I try to make sure all of my giving goes to a reputable charity or I volunteer my time. Just handing someone a few bucks isn't going to really do anything in the long run.