Friday, November 2, 2012

I Find Your Lack Of Faith Disturbing

First, I know what you're saying, "you promised that you would read 50 Shades of Grey and give us a report on each chapter"...fuck that, this takes precedence as Star Wars should.  I've given up on reading that crappy book and the shitty sex scenes.  Besides the love story between Leia and Han is way better.
I can arrange that.
Anyway, it's been a couple of days now since the biggest geek bombshell of all time was dropped about Disney purchasing Lucasfilm, Ltd. (again, stab yourself in the scrotum if you don't know who or what Lucasfilm, Ltd is).  There has been a pouring of nerd Tweets, Status Updates and Blog Entries since the news broke on how Lucas sold his soul to frozen devil.  At first I was upset and pissed off that this could possibly happen too.  It felt like a childhood memory had been ripped out of my skull and sold on Ebay to the highest bidder with free shipping, but then I got to thinking in depth about this giant merger.

Being dubbed "gay for Star Wars" recently by fellow blogger Jenn at Something Clever 2.0 and asked by a few people to share my thoughts on the subject, I did a blog post about how I felt, you can read that right here.  Take your time, read it, it might surprise you.  Now I have some more thoughts on this (yes, I do eat sleep and breath Star Wars, get used to it).

It has been leaked out that Disney already has a plan to release Episodes VII, VIII and IX and some people think this is blasphemous.  So, not true, it is not blasphemous, in fact for as long as I can remember I had always heard that Lucas had nine episodes written when he originally wrote Star Wars, so this might have been in his grand scheme of things.

I love gold....
Now, of course with the news of Episode VII being released in 2015 (same year as The Avengers 2 might I add, Disney=$$$) the speculations have been thrown out like scrap droids in the Jawa's sandcrawler about what the movie's plot will be.  Some say it will take after the Expanded Universe books, some say it will use the comic book line and some have said it will the Thrawn trilogy (which would have been the best) but I read today that EOnline spoke with a source inside Lucasfilm who confirmed that George's outline was always and original story for VII, VIII and IX.

Now with that being said, in that same article it was mentioned that George Lucas confided in Mark Hamill during the shooting of Return of the Jedi that his thoughts were that a much older Luke would have a mentor role in those Episodes, much like Obi Wan Kenobi.  Do you know what this means?????

Mark Hamill will be employed again and no longer is known as Cock-Knocker!!!!
Don't fuck with a Jedi Master son.
This makes 100% perfect fucking Force choking sense!  After the destruction of the Empire and the supposed last Death Star, it is implied through various outlets that Luke starts the Jedi academy and Council back up in the Great Massassi temple the Rebellion used on Yavin IV.  I'm going to stop right there though, I have had this conversation with some other people and they brought up a semi-valid point, won't Mark Hamill be too old to do the role of Luke Skywalker again?
The knowledge of Yoda and the agility of Obi-Wan
Plain and simple...fuck no!  Was Harrison Ford too old to reprise his role as Indiana Jones in the last (albeit worst) Indiana Jones film?  No he wasn't, they played it off as timed passed.  Still not convinced?  OK, Luke and Leia were born at the end of Episode III and then we see them in Episode IV where roughly 18 years has passed in the galaxy.  Who says they can't have a 20 plus year gap in between Episodes VI and VIII where Luke has trained many Jedi and built the Order back up to being the defenders of peace in the Galaxy?
Actually a very good movie for Star Wars fans
So, to all the irate "fans" out there, chill the fuck out.  Most of you weren't even born yet when the Original (Holy) Trilogy was released.  You are the same ones who had an outcry when Episodes I, II and III were released but yet piled your money into the pockets of George Lucas.  You are also the same ones who got flustered when they did the animated Clone Wars movie and TV show, (which is in it's fifth and final season, coincidence?) yet, you watch it faithfully on your DVR.  You are all hypocrites.  Still need more proof?

Look what Disney did to The Avengers...they made it abso-fucking-lutly awesome!  Who didn't enjoy the new Muppet movie?  And name one REALLY crappy Pixar can't.  Until Disney does something to really jeopardize the integrity of the Saga, I will believe that what they have in mind will be great.

I have held my ground with the defense of Jar Jar* so defending the purchase will be easy.
*Jar Jar is still the Wil Wheaton of the Star Wars movies.

This is my entry into Dude Write 21, the theme this week is biblical, seeing that I consider Star Wars to be the bible, I figured this would be a perfect post.  Click below, read all of the blogs and then come back on Monday/Tuesday and vote for your top three.
Dude Write


  1. I agree with this. I think at this point, the franchise is probably better off out of George's hands before he creates something of similar quality to the prequel trilogy.

  2. Well said. I enjoyed the comment,"This makes 100% perfect fucking Force choking sense!" I laughed so hard coffee came out my nose.

  3. I never really got into Star Wars.

  4. I'm not a die hard fan of Star Wars, but as far as I'm concerned if Disney buying the rights means more movies, then I'm all for it. Sure, they may fuck this up...but then again, they may not?

    Read this article yesterday, and it seems to mirror many of your thoughts too:

  5. I'll give you the Pixar films, but the Avengers was already made when Disney bought Marvel's movie rights. Now for Jar Jar... I can't forgive for that! Jar Jar was purely a marking ploy by Lucas to capture the $$$ of children, much in the way R2-D2 and Ewoks was, only it failed miserably in the eyes of true Star Wars fans.

    I do agree with you on a number of points. This could be a good thing as you mentioned. It's going to get us some LONG overdue Star Wars movies. They will have plenty of $$$ to make them, and a publicity machine unlike anything the world has ever seen (not that Star Wars needs it). Plus Disney is too big for them to have much of a hand in the day to day operations. They have done well with Pixar (not meddling), and I expect the same hands-off approach with Star Wars.

    My 12-year old stepson (a walking-talking Star Wars wikipedia) and I were just discussing this very topic the other day, and we also believe they will jump ahead several decades and Mark will reprise his roll as Luke Skywalker.

    Lets just pray Lucus doesn't F this thing up.

  6. My seven year old is planning to ask Santa for an instruction book so he can "learn how to use the force." I think this might make him officially gay for Star Wars.

  7. Disney can't do worse than the first two films. Wo didn't want to kill little orphan Ani and the equally annoying Jar Jar? The wooden acting in Episode two made Pinochio laugh. I say give Disney a shot at making the next 3.


  8. I have still never seen a full Star Wars movie. I feel like I should have by now, and yet... nah. I'll let you recap it for me.

  9. I feel your passion for Star Wars. I enjoyed it but think the time has come for Lucas to use his amazing skills on another story.

  10. I couldn't believe it when I read it on Wednesday when I got my power back. I've been mad at George Lucas since I was a kid for not making the third trilogy.

  11. Lots of Good information in your post, I favorited your blog post so I can visit again in the future, Thanks.

  12. "*Jar Jar is still the Wil Wheaton of the Star Wars movies. " - did you get that from Big Bang Theory, or are the writers of that show reading your blog? ;-)

  13. No, I borrowed it from Big Bang...

  14. I enjoyed reading your articles. This is truly a great read for me. I have bookmarked it and I am looking forward to reading new articles.