Wednesday, October 31, 2012

A Great Disturbance In The Force

Well, it looks like the Mayans were right after all.  We've been having freak weather, odd occurrences and now the unthinkable* has happened, Disney has bought Lucasfilm Ltd.  If you just asked yourself who or what Lucasfilm Ltd. is, go stab yourself in the larynx.

*It really wasn't unthinkable to most Star Wars geeks, it was more inevitable.

There was outrage and uprising via social media yesterday when reports went out the Disney bought Lucasfilm, Ltd. for $4.1 BILLION dollars.  George Lucas sold his soul to the devil with this deal and the devil's name is Walt.  In this deal Disney will also receive the gamin title LucasArts, Industrial Light and Magic and Skywalker Sound.  If you know your George Lucas, you will know that IL&M and Skywalker Sound are in 99.9% of the movies made today, so if you think that people are overreacting to this buy out, keep in mind that Disney just sunk its claws into your favorite film franchises too. 
I received many emails, texts, direct messages yesterday asking and demanding that I speak out on this because I am gay for Star Wars.  Well here you go.

George Lucas is brilliant.  Period.  Always has been and always will be.  Not only did Lucas make $4.1+ BILLION more dollars, he is still going to serve as the creative advisor for everything Star Wars related that Disney poops out.  Think about this for a second, everyone loved the Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, Thor and Captain America movies and even if you weren't a comic book nerd you thought The Avengers was the best superhero movie of all time.  Every one of those characters are in the Marvel Universe and guess what?  Disney owns Marvel too!

It is not so far fetched that Disney would have bought out Lucas, they already have a tie with their parks, toys and other merchandise.  I have a Darth Vader signed lightsaber from my sister-in-law's trip to Disney and the Minions have Disney character toys dressed as Star Wars characters.  Instead of sucking money from Disney a little at a time, George took out his big lightsaber and fucked Disney dry this time.  Everyone knew Lucas wanted to get out from under the Star Wars tag and this was his out, a very wealthy out. 

What's that you say?  There are plans for Episode VII?  You're damn right there are!  Ever since I was a young boy pretending to be Luke Skywalker in the 80's I have always heard the rumor that George Lucas had NINE films in mind when he wrote Star Wars.  What?  Come on, you never wondered why Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi were Episodes, IV, V and VI?  It wasn't a cute marketing ploy, it was because George had written a bigger, expanded Star Wars galaxy and thought those chapters were the better of the...gasp...nine. Then 1999 arrived and Episode I came out, starting us on the journey of what would eventually become Darth Vader.

Think about how many books have been written ABY (After the Battle of Yavin...and you call yourself a Star Wars geek?) and how many more have been written after Lando and Nien Nunb blew up the last Death Star.  Episodes VII, VIII and IX have already been written in that sense.  Lucas just didn't have the time to make these movies into reality and this was the best way to do it.

I know what you are thinking, I'm defending the mouse and the wonderful world of Disney, well no, I'm not.  I still despise Disney and I say screw the mouse and the ears he rode in on.  I still think Disney is a soul sucking company that will do anything to make a dollar, but unfortunately this is the best option for the Star Wars franchise.  With that being said I so have some concerns like all other Star Wars fans out there.

The one thing I worry about, seeing the ears in the movies.
  1. I hope Disney doesn't go crazy with the commercialization of Star Wars...oh wait, never mind, that started in the 70's.
  2. I hope Disney doesn't ruin the integrity of the films...oh, wait never mind, we have Fanboys who have already done that.
  3. I hope Disney doesn't try to make a cute Mickey Mouse Henson did with the Muppet Babies...remember that?  Oh and the Muppets are owned by Disney too...

Quite honestly, everyone is pissed, not at Disney, but at Lucas, myself included.  Yes, I feel he sold out, yes I feel he sold his soul to the ear wearing devil and yes, I even feel he could have kept going with Star Wars IF he concentrated less on his other companies, but I can't fault him.  If someone came to me and said, "I will pay you $4 billion dollars for the rights to Who Woulda Thought?, but you get to remain as the creative advisor on all content.", damn skippy, hippie I would sell it.

That's no mouse...
In this day and age, especially in 2015 when Episode VII is supposed to be released, the movie is going to be off the chart, with the special effects, story lines already in place from the books and Lucas still having creative input on it.  The problem is, what will the do?  There are so many books after Jedi, where will they pick up?  Will they have Luke, Han and Leia in it?  Who will they use to play them?  Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher are too old now and in three years could be dead.  There are too many unanswered questions that we will have to wait for, in the meantime though here are some other points to ponder.

If Princess Leia becomes a Disney Princess, I hope she kicks all the other Princesses' asses, starting with Snow White, she was a whiny little bitch to begin with.
The baddest Princess of the bunch.
Maybe they will change Epcot to the Death Star and each evening instead of seeing fire works over the Magic Kingdom we can watch a laser fire from the Death Star and blow up Cinderella's Castle like Alderaan.

And the best thing that could come out of this, a full Star Wars theme park!  I'll let that sink in for a second or two....everything Star Wars, Star Wars all the time.  You can do the trench run, bulls eye womprats in your T-16, beat Han in the Kessel run by doing it in less than 11 parsecs.  The possibilities are endless with a Star Wars theme park, you can feel what it was like when Alderaan blew up, play Dejarik with R2-D2 and Chewbacca and even fight General Grievous.  Each planet can be a section of the park and you can visit Hoth, Mustafar, Dantooine and even Corellia.  Feel what it's like to be encased in carbonite, as long as you survive the freezing process.  It will be fantastic!

Isn't that what they did to Walt?
All in all, this will be a good thing.  Sure there are people out there who want to leave well enough alone, but then there are others who want and crave more.  Maybe, just maybe we can get a Boba Fett TV show?

At least replace Hayden...


  1. Your knowledge of the force clearly surpasses mine! I love Star Wars but I'm not gay for it!

    It would be cool to see a theme park though. Epcot as the Death Star...brilliant!

    As long as Star Wars continues (without the ears) then I really don't mind who owns the rights, so long as the force remains strong!

  2. I am beginning to feel a little less incensed now that I have read your blog. You make valid points. You're gay for Star Wars so your opinions have merit. I do agree, however, that I would love to see Leia kick some Disney princess ass.

  3. I've read several blogging about this. I think it'll be okay unless it goes too far commercialized or until they start remaking the originals because the actors are too old. I don't think I'd like to see on Pixar either. Great posting!

  4. Ok, I do feel a little better. You're like a support group leader... GFSWA, I guess.

  5. LIKE! You have some very valid points and the pictures you found or made are super!