Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Yar, Me Matey!

Avast, 'tis Talk Like A Pirate Day, 'round these parts an' me an' a few others want'd to spread th' word.  Bein' a pirate 'tis a great thing, no one tells ye what to do.  Ye are ye own man.  Th' only thing better than bein' a pirate is bein' a Jedi.

Although, there already be pirates in Star Wars, Capn' Solo was thought to be a pirate.
The skalliewags shoulda made lil' R2 be a pirate....
Albeit, bein' a pirate does sound might fun.  Ye get to be in pirate songs....

Yar, those be lookin' like fun times to me.  I would love ta be in a music video, I even looks like the yeller buc'neer with th' missin' tooth.  'Nother thing 'bout bein' a pirate, ye get movies made of you an' even get barnacles like Johnny Depp ta play ye in th' movie.
In th' movie, ye get ta havn' a big ship...
An', ye be gettin' the wenches...
Me thinks these two ate th' wenches...
They ev'n bein' makin' cartoons an' toys about ye...
So, what'n I be sayin' is, today be International Talk Like A Pirate Day, so ye need to man up and start talkin' like ye be on th' seven seas.  Ta, leave ye off, I be providin' ye with some pirate laughs, enjoy!  Yarrr.

What ratin' did the new pirate movie have?  Rated Arrrrrrrrrr.

A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head, sits down and orders a dirty rum.  The barkeep asks why is he wearing the paper towel.... "Arrr, I've got a bounty on me head."

What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?  A sunken chest with no booty.

What does a dyslexic pirate say?  Rrrrrrra!

How much dos it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced?  A buccaneer.

Where did the one legged pirate go for breakfast?  IHOP

And last but not least...

A pirate enters a bar and walks up to the bar.  He has an eye patch, hook for a hand, a peg leg and a giant ship steering wheel for a belt buckle.  The bartender pours him a shot of whiskey and asks,

"What happened to your eye?

"Arrr, it be terrible, I was in a sword fight and the skalliewag stabbed me eye out."

The bartender pours another shot and asks, "What about your hand?"

"Arrr, same battle.  One o' his crew snuck up behind me and sliced it off."

One more shot gets poured, "What happened to your leg?"

"Arrr, I be out ta sea an' there be a cannonball fight, a ball took me leg clean off."

The bartender pours one more shot on the house and finally asks, "What the hell is up with the ship steering wheel for a belt buckle?"

"Arrrr, it be drivin' me nuts."


  1. Talk like a pirate day....absolutely my favorite day of the year!

  2. Yar! These jokes be comic gold! Excellent day of the year when all these Cap'n Jack photos be comin' up on me internets. Check out me pirate post; avast I did one too. Great minds... ;) Yo Ho!

  3. That must be why I did see some ppl dressed as pirates yesterday and here I thought I was breathing toxic air or something. :) Hilarious post and loved the jokes.

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