It's Like The Oscars...

...but with more talent.

Hey look, someone who used to be funny....

I, again, entered an original blog post into Dude Write, this time it was Episode IV:  A New Poop or Dude Write 4, for those of you without the Star Wars references.  But this time I completed the trifecta of the Man Card collection (and being the first to do so) by obtaining the Platinum Man Card Award for second place.






According to the high Mucky Mucks over at Dude Write, I was able to "...come dangerously close to becoming our first multiple Diamond winner?"  I missed by one vote for tying (again) but I can tell you that Dan at workingdan definitely deserved the Diamond bling, the post Reality Check he submitted, holy shit it was deep...real deep.

I, of course, came in second with my Chicken Theory, while Brandon over at My Own Private Idaho took the coveted Gold Man Card with his post about The Evolution of Jerking It (Science is AWESOME!)

Then we had a few other awards, Ken-InaTractor was this week's honorary chairman and awarded TheJackB his Chairman's Choice, while Youngman Brown and WilyGuy awarded Muppets For Justice and Nest Expressed their Chairman's Choice Awards.

And last but not least, Ken-InaTractor won the Color Commentary Man Card for his comment about hot dogs, lips and assholes on my Chicken Theory post.

Congratulations to all the Dudes over at Dude Write again!  Again there were some awesome posts, they made you laugh, they made you cry, they made you look online for a vagina for your iPad.

What does all this mean though?  You may be asking yourself "Is Kevin done now that he has successfully won the Diamond, Platinum and Gold Man Card Awards and secured himself a Chairman's Choice award?"  You may even be asking yourself, "What's next for Kevin?  Is he going to move on to a different contest?  Was he contacted by a national media source to write for them?" (No to all three questions, I'm not done with Dude Write, I may enter a different contest eventually and are you fucking kidding me?  No self respecting publisher would hire me....I take that back if there are scouts for a national or local media source reading this.)

The answer my friends, is blowing in the wind...no that's just me farting, the answer is simple, seeing that I am the first Dude to win all three coveted titles....

I have three more goals in Dude Write:

1. To be the first multiple Diamond Club Winner.
2. To win the Color Commentary Award.
3. And to take over the mother puss bucket world!

My faithful followers, why are you so angry?

But, I can't do it without my faithful Minions.  I plead with you, please continue to read my blog and all the other fantastic Dude blogs out there, our lives depend on you...well actually we can survive just fine if you choose not to read, we just have really big, gigantic, massive....egos and we need for them to grow!

And with that I say to all the Mommy Bloggers out there who think we can't do it.....

 ***Except for the awesome moms who follow me and enjoy my blog, I say thank you!***