Tuesday, April 15, 2014
My Way Or Masturdating In The A To Z Challenge
Ok, fuck it, I'm done. I thought it would be a great thing to have a theme during the A to Z Challenge but that's just not how my brain works. My brain is very, extremely random and I can't limit it to just one particular theme. So from here on out, the theme is kaput. It's now my way A to Z Challenge, do you understand? I will not bow down to your overlordship. I will continue to do the Challenge because I believe it is jump starting my blogging fondness back up but no, I will not follow the theme. I am a Jedi, like my father before me....or something like that.
Wow, that feels better. I'm back bitches, no theme, no rules (except for the alphabet thing), it's on. Now before I get in the the topic of Masturdating, I need to give credit where credit is due. My friend Kelly, and yes she is a personal friend, not just a blogger friend, is participating in the torturous A to Z Challenge as well. I am going to send you to her blog right now by clicking HERE. Go on I will wait as always, I always wait. She is really, really funny and she brings her funny to the blogosphere. So, I'm piggy backing off of her Masturdating blog post. You need to go read it first seriously, otherwise you will be lost....
Anyway, Masturdating. The art of going out by yourself to a movie, dinner or any other event where you would bring a date. Flying solo, masturdating. I can honestly say I have never Masturdated...bated sure, what guy hasn't, you're in the shower and bang it goes off, who hasn't? But Masturdating is totally different.
I mean, going to dinner alone? Wow, la-who-ser. Going to the carnival solo...creepy. I mean who are you trying to win that big pink fluffy teddy bear for?
OK, now I need to come clean, I Masturdated last year when the Trophy was visiting her sister, she knew about it too and she was OK about it. I went to the movies by myself to see The Wolverine, I got there, grabbed my popcorn and soda, paid my $57.00 and went into the theater. I got there early like all old people do and grabbed my seat. Other people entered the theater and of course out of all the empty seats, these teenagers decided to plant their asses next to me. They were giggling and having...fun. They kept looking over at me, not saying anything until the movie started. That was the last and only time I Masturdated. I was the creepy old guy at the movies.