Friday, April 4, 2014
Diet In The A To Z Challenge
The letter D of Adulthood. Thanks for coming along for the ride, I hope I am keeping you entertained. Today it's diet. There are two types of diets that you encounter in Adulthood, there's the diet where you loose the weight you've gained over the winter and then there's the diet of what you eat as you get older.
As I've traveled deeper into Adulthood I find myself changing my diet, no to always loose weight but because I have to. When I was younger I could eat anything I wanted, sure I gained weight but I could eat and it wouldn't affect me other than that. Spicy nachos, whiskey, hell I would even drink Tabasco sauce as a dare, no worries. I could eat burgers, drink milk and enjoy an over abundance of Chinese food without any problems. But now, as I have gotten older in Adulthood, things have changed.
I'm not one to go to the doctors on a regular basis, 1. I'm not one of those people and 2. I refuse to pay a $35 co-pay for the sniffles, but when I did go last year she recommended that I change my diet. The first thing she suggested was to eat more fiber. I changed doctors immediately after that because she obviously doesn't know me as a patient, just joking. More fiber? What does she want me to do blow the planet up? I asked her why and she told me that with my different poop schedule more fiber would regulate it back to where it was. Ok...I'll buy that so I ate more fiber...bad mistake.
Come to find out fiber really doesn't make me more regular it makes me fart more, like stink myself out of my truck fart a lot. It put a fucking turbo charger on the Evenrude. I stopped the fiber and am dealing with adjusting my pooping schedule. Crazy doctor.
I get heartburn from water. Water. THE most natural substance on earth and it gives me heartburn. I love water, I will drink water over an other beverage, except beer, any day. Speaking of beer, I don't get drunk off of beer anymore. I can't, I don't get it. I can drink 8 beers and not feel buzzed, bloated like a dead whale carcass but not buzzed.
I am reduced to drinking 1% milk, not because it's better for me but because it tastes better to me. I used to LOVE whole milk, I would drink that with every meal, it tasted great but over the course of the years, it started to fell thick, so I went to 2% and that started to be same way now I'm at 1%. I'm fucked if 1% starts tasting funking because there is no way in hell I am going to drink skim milk. Skim milk? Might as well pour a glass of water and sprinkle some baby powder in it, and then I'm back to heartburn from water
I still haven't mastered the do and do not food list, it's a work in progress but like all other things I will learn it over time...but man do I miss greasy Chinese food...