Friday, April 4, 2014

Diet In The A To Z Challenge

The letter D of Adulthood.  Thanks for coming along for the ride, I hope I am keeping you entertained.  Today it's diet.  There are two types of diets that you encounter in Adulthood, there's the diet where you loose the weight you've gained over the winter and then there's the diet of what you eat as you get older.

As I've traveled deeper into Adulthood I find myself changing my diet, no to always loose weight but because I have to.  When I was younger I could eat anything I wanted, sure I gained weight but I could eat and it wouldn't affect me other than that.  Spicy nachos, whiskey, hell I would even drink Tabasco sauce as a dare, no worries.  I could eat burgers, drink milk and enjoy an over abundance of Chinese food without any problems. But now, as I have gotten older in Adulthood, things have changed.

I'm not one to go to the doctors on a regular basis, 1.  I'm not one of those people and 2.  I refuse to pay a $35 co-pay for the sniffles, but when I did go last year she recommended that I change my diet.  The first thing she suggested was to eat more fiber.  I changed doctors immediately after that because she obviously doesn't know me as a patient, just joking.  More fiber?  What does she want me to do blow the planet up?  I asked her why and she told me that with my different poop schedule more fiber would regulate it back to where it was.  Ok...I'll buy that so I ate more fiber...bad mistake.

Come to find out fiber really doesn't make me more regular it makes me fart more, like stink myself out of my truck fart a lot.  It put a fucking turbo charger on the Evenrude.  I stopped the fiber and am dealing with adjusting my pooping schedule.  Crazy doctor.

I get heartburn from water.  Water.  THE most natural substance on earth and it gives me heartburn.  I love water, I will drink water over an other beverage, except beer, any day.  Speaking of beer, I don't get drunk off of beer anymore.  I can't, I don't get it.  I can drink 8 beers and not feel buzzed, bloated like a dead whale carcass but not buzzed.

I am reduced to drinking 1% milk, not because it's better for me but because it tastes better to me.  I used to LOVE whole milk, I would drink that with every meal, it tasted great but over the course of the years, it started to fell thick, so I went to 2% and that started to be same way now I'm at 1%.  I'm fucked if 1% starts tasting funking because there is no way in hell I am going to drink skim milk.  Skim milk?  Might as well pour a glass of water and sprinkle some baby powder in it, and then I'm back to heartburn from water

I still haven't mastered the do and do not food list, it's a work in progress but like all other things I will learn it over time...but man do I miss greasy Chinese food...


  1. I really need to change my diet, but I love food too much. I have learned portion control and that's about as far as it's going to go. I don't go to the doctor either, I get tired of hearing, you should exercise more and lose weight. I'm active enough at work and have been this weight for 10 years, it suits me.

    Glad to see you're back to blogging again.

  2. Ha! This was hilarious. Weird how an aging body starts effing around with you just because it can. I sooo relate...though the water / heartburn thing is indeed odd.

  3. It's amazing how much our bodies change as we get older. I'm not getting heartburn from water just yet, but I guess now I have something else to look forward to :)
    Visiting from A to Z...and I'm your newest follower!

  4. Visiting from A/Z. It "sucks" as we get older that the metabolism changes and we have to change what we eat. I did hear though that if you eat more fiber you feel more full, but I'm still struggling with it all. Good luck with the rest of the challenge!


  5. Oh I can sympathize with this post. I turned 5-0 last year I not only out of the blue gained 20 pounds but received 2 belated birthday gifts 1- was type 1 diabetes and 2. I now am gluten sensitive which is an allergy to gluten. All things that I love are now out to kill me. Changing my diet and eating is now considered a lifestyle change. Well according to those in the medical field. I have been working hard to take off the extra 20 I gained, but had to stop my zumba class and aerobics due to reinjuring my knee. On top of all that I decided to stop smoking and they tell me at the quit line to expect a weight gain of 30 pounds. Good Luck with that fiber diet thing. At least if they don't find ya funny they'll know you're around- well that's what I say anyway! :)

  6. I miss having a bog old glass of soda whenever I feel like it. Glad you saved the planet by opting out of the fiber overload!

  7. Yep. Pretty much feeling it now. Don't even drink milk anymore. Ever tried almond milk? It's not bad. I'm glad I found your blog today. :)

  8. I can get heartburn just from thinking about eating or drinking anything. Especially anything with alcohol.