|And Threepio thought Jawas were disgusting...|
Today's portion of the A to Z Challenge is brought to you by the letter U. I know I've touched base about this in the past but it was a general post about Facebook. Today I want to bring to light the updaters. I'm not talking about the basic run of the mill updaters, the ones who post every now and then updating you about an event, funny moment in their life or to voice their concern about something. We are all guilty of that.
The updaters I am talking about fall into three categories:
- Every Waking Minute Updater
- Checker Inners
- Daily Scheduler
Before I go down this road, if you are one of these updaters I swear I'm not talking about you specifically....
The Every Waking Minute Updater or EWM is the person that sleeps with his or her phone on the nightstand and it is the first thing they grab in the morning (I personally grab the Trophy). They look at that little blue F icon on the screen and quickly tap it...
"Just woke up, didn't sleep well last night."
And it begins, a day of telling the people that hang on every status this person posts what they are doing, "I am making eggs and bacon for breakfast, yum!", "Ugh, doing laundry.", "I guess I'll have a ham and cheese sandwich for lunch.", "Taking a shower.", Getting in my car to go to the store."....ok, who the fuck cares? So you do the same things everyone else does on a daily routine, we don't need to be reminded of our Ground Hog Day life. They have something called Twitter if you want to post quick updates.
Then you have the Checker Inners or CIs. I have fallen prey to this disease and it's not pretty. This usually happens when people are on vacation. In fact I just had a friend of mine go to Florida (he knows who he is because I gave him shit about it already). This friend rarely posts anything on Facebook but all of a sudden he is on vacation and my feed gets blown the fuck up by all sorts of check ins. "At It's a Small World", "At Hoopty Doo (or whatever it's called) review.", "At Space Mountain"...you get the idea. People do it locally too, "At the mall.", "At Bugaboo Creek."...thanks now I really feel like a stalker. What kills me are the pictures that sometimes fall into the mix, especially of the meals they eat. I really don't want to see your chewed up food or half eaten burger and again, there's Instagram for that shit.
"Twitter is stupid and Instagram is Twitter for people who can't read."
Finally the Daily Scheduler or DSer. The least annoying updater. These people post one status update that is a mile long first thing in the morning.
"Getting the kids on the bus, then heading to the laundromat, grocery store and Walmart. Junior has piano lesson at 2:00 and then I'm getting the kids off the bus. Taking Junior and Precious to baseball and soccer, I hope I have time to stop and get dinner for them, I should wear an S on my chest LOL."
Of course they have to top off the mile long update with the Supermom/dad reference. This update is particularly helpful for the robber who now knows your house is unattended for the day, hope you don't mind your 60" plasma getting stolen.
I know we are all guilty to an extent but tone it down for the sake of your "friends".