|To all of my Jewish readers out there!|
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The advent calendar was made to count down the days until Christmas or so they say. Personally I think that some pissed off Catholic was upset that his Jewish friend got a present eight nights in a row not to mention that whole Jesus on a cross thing. I can only imagine that conversation...
Bartholomew: Merry Christmas Sampson! So good to see you this snowy December night!
Sampson: Happy Chanukah Bartholomew! Please accept this dreidel as a gift of friendship and token of apology for that whole Jesus debacle.
Bart: A dreidel? What the heck is a dreidel? It looks like a little top.
Sam: Well, yes that's basically what it is. It's a child's toy to play and sometimes you get eight different ones during Chanukah.
Bart: Eight different ones? Wouldn't one suffice as they all do the same function...spin?
Sam: Yes, I suppose they would. Some children get chocolate coins or fruit eight nights in a row.
Bart: Wait, you get presents eight nights in row? Do you have a special deal with Santa Claus to make that happen?
Sam: Santa...Claus? Never heard of him, besides we really don't get along with German people after...you know.
Bart: Right, right.
Sam: Please don't use that word.
Bart: Oh, I'm sorry. So, back to the eight nights of gifts, how does that work?
Sam: Well Chanukah starts a little before your Christmas holiday but lasts eight nights unlike your pitiful one day of celebration.
Bart: Pitiful? What do you mean by pitiful? I'll show you and your eight silly nights of gifts! I'm going to make something so that we get presents for ten nights before Christmas.
Sam: Um, isn't there twelve days of Christmas?
Bart: Well yes, but who wants those gifts? Maybe the maids a milking but who needs all that poultry? OK, smartass, I'll make it start on December first and last until Christmas Day!
Sam: OK....we have a menorah.
Bart: Yeah, well we'll have a box, yeah a box, with little doors built in. The doors will be numbered, yeah that's it, but I'll make the number out of order.
Sam: Won't that confuse the children on which door to open?
Bart: Silence, this is my invention! They can cross reference it with their real calendars. I'll put little presents behind the doors.
Sam: Such as?
Bart: Discolored lumps of chocolate of course. I'll have a candy maker make them in February and I'll store them in the freezer. I'll leave them unwrapped because they are opening the little numbered doors already.
Sam: That's it?
Bart: No! I will make the 25th door bigger and put...a Christmas ornament in it so they have something to hang on their tree that day and they can see how pretty it is for twenty four hours, when their tree comes down.
Sam: You're a genius Bartholomew...
Bart: Suck my yule log! I must go, I have work to do!
Sam: What are you going to make the box out of?
Bart: A new material made of paper pressed together, I will call it cardboard. This way they can't reuse it every year!
So there you have the conversation on how the first advent calendar was conceived.