Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Double Ds

Got your attention didn't I?

Today's blog entry is brought to you by the letter D.

This one will be a double whammy, drama and diarrhea.  This will work out nicely as these two are very similar in some cases.

I did a quick Google search for drama and one of the first things that pops up is the Urban Dictionary.  It seems that the drama we knew from people like Shakespeare and Savinien Cyrano de Bergerac is now replaced with the more common "creation of drama".  The Urban Dictionary's first entry about drama is dead on, the definition is in red, I have taken the liberty of adding the similarities to diarrhea in the color green

1. Drama

A way of relating to the world in which a person consistently overreacts to or greatly exaggerates the importance of benign events.  Taking a dump is usually a normal every day thing for most people, whether it be in the morning or in the evening.  When you add the runs into the equation it makes the most simple thing into a world class ass burning...literally.

Typically "drama" is used by people who are chronically bored or those who seek attention.  If you have diarrhea more than a few times, you are seeking attention of some sort.  Maybe medical, maybe soothing.

People who engage in "drama" will usually attempt to drag other people into their dramatic state, as a way of gaining attention or making their own lives more exciting.  There isn't one person who has had diarrhea and hasn't told someone about it, thus dragging that person into your Hershey squirt highway.

Common warning signs/ risk factors of drama or a dramatic person are:

1. Having one supposedly serious problem after another.  The trots usually happen quite frequently and rapidly.

2. Constantly telling other people about one's problems.  "You think you had it bad when you got sick?  I was pissing out of my ass!"

3. Extreme emotionality or frequently shifting, intense emotions.  Usually happens when you are pouring liquid out of your anus during your stomach bug.

4. Claiming to have experienced negative events that are highly implausible.  "My ass burns so bad from shitting so much, I think someone stuck a lit match up there."

5. A boring job or mundane life.  Diarrhea does make things more interesting.

6. Making claims without sufficient evidence or a lack of detail about supposedly serious events.  No one, and I mean no one looks at the diarrhea after it comes out, it's an immediate flush, so you have no idea what it looked like.  Now a regular stink pickle?  You know you look at that all the time to see how big, what colors, etc.

7. A pattern of irrational behavior and reactions to everyday problems.  Again, taking a dump is an everyday "problem", having the shits makes it much worse and your reactions tend to be more over the top.

So there you have it, my complete analysis of the similarities between drama and diarrhea.  The next time you come across someone who is leaking drama, give them a roll of toilet paper and some Imodium AD.
Oh and in case you were wondering why I chose diarrhea as the D topic....yeah you guessed it, I've gone from upper to lower exiting with my stomach bug.  I hope none of you read this while eating supper....actually I take that back, I would laugh my ass off if you were reading this while enjoying a nice heaping pile of mashed potatoes covered with brown gravy and then for dessert you have ice cream with Hershey syrup on top.
I found this picture via Google images, I can't make this shit up!


  1. You are a sick sick man, both figuratively and literally. I almost had a Hershey squirt of my own from laughing so hard.

    A very clever and as always, hilarious post.

    Now I can't think why I have 'Mr Hankie the Christmas poo' going around in my head. Hi-de-ho!

    1. Yeah, I've been told I'm not right in the head....