Saturday, March 31, 2012

What Did You Call Me?

Not much different than a human.
I like to people watch.  Not the creepy "watch the hot chick walk across the parking lot well aware that she knows you are staring at her" people watch but the "my family and I went to the mall and while at the food court I took in my surroundings" people watch.  It's kind of a study per say, like a scientist in the jungle watching the gorillas to figure out their habits.  During these studies I continuously find things I despise.

See?  I told you, not much difference.
There is one thing that I despise about people, well actually there is a plethora of things I despise about people, but for the sake of this post and your attention spans I will limit it to one thing...this time.  Anyway, as I was saying, one thing I despise about people, specifically the female gender, is how they refer to their significant other, in this case the male.  My eye starts twitching when I hear a female refer to her significant other as her "Man".  You know exactly what I mean, hell you might even be one of those females.

"My Man brings home a lot of money."

"My Man knows exactly what I want."

"My Man is the jealous type, so be careful."

"My Man just got out of jail."

"My Man gets a  really good welfare check."

Now, during this study I have noticed that their "Man" is usually the fling of the month and that "Man" really doesn't have a thought in his brain about actually making things serious.  If they do end up being *ahem* serious, it usually lasts for a year...tops.   These females are the ones who still use MySpace.  I can't seem to find any female who is happily married (insert joke here) who calls their husband their "Man".  They are usually referred to as "My Husband/Hubby/Hubs", "(Name)", or dumbass (affectionately of course).

OK, now I have pissed off 90% of my readers by attacking the females.  Relax, calm down and chill out, I'm an equal opportunity offender.  The same goes for the males too!  My other eye starts twitching when I hear them call their significant others, "Old Lady",  which usually follows words like The or My.

"The Old Lady chewed me out for having a beer."

"My Old Lady takes care of the dishes."

"The Old Lady said I can't go to his house for poker."

"My Old Lady is pregnant again!"

Again, during this study, I have noticed a few things, one being that when a male refers to the female as "Old Lady", they are in fact either married or have been with the same female for a long period of time.  Just the opposite of the female study.  Another thing I noticed was that these couples seem to fall into the white trash aspect and that's a WHOLE other study.

Everyday people boggle my mind by the things they say or do and the lack of common sense they have.  I try to convince myself I am not a human but more of a sentient being with a different outlook on things.


  1. I feel like a stalker commenting first, so I'll just quietly slither away...

    Just had a mental image of the queen saying, "My man and I," instead of her customary, "My husband and I." Ok, slithering off now.

    1. LOL stalking isn't a bad thing it is a refined art.

  2. Just so you know I usually refer to my husband as Jackass, and when we first started dating I near called him my man, I called him "ears" because of his giant ears.