Tuesday, March 3, 2015

I Am A Geek Dad

I guess I was cool before it was cool to be...uh, cool?  I'll admit my coolness went away the second Minion #1 came sailing down the old sperm shoot.  I traded my Metallica CDs for Veggietales and my house parties became themed birthday parties.

But before that I swear I was cool...

Since the rise in popularity of the Big Bang Theory and King of the Nerds, wearing superhero t-shirts and quoting sci-fi, thus geekdom has become mainstream.  However, I was a geek before it was cool to be a geek, but let's get something straight right now, there is a difference between being a geek and being a nerd, but that's a post for another day.

When I was younger I was wearing superhero t-shirts and rocking the Atari 2600 and NES.  I was quoting the Star Wars Trilogy before I could ride a bike and my favorite part of my one and only Disney vacation was Epcot.  Fuck the small world, I wanted science!  My parents bought me a home computer back in the 80's, and Apple IIc.  That's right I was Mac before before Steve "Motherfucking" Jobs made it cool to be a Mac.  In fact I had an Apple IIc before my school did.

I remember the day I was called to the principal's office, I was shitting bricks trying to think what I did wrong.

"We just bought three new Apple IIc computers and we need you to train the teachers how to use them."

Wait..what the hell did I just hear?  My little 4th grade mind was blown!  I was in fact the first Apple Genius.  Now don't get too excited, if you had ever used an Apple IIc you know it doesn't have a hard drive and runs solely on those big ass 5 1/2 inch Verbatim floppy disks.

Remember Nintendo Power?  Yeah I had a subscription from day one.  My friends and I were gamers before anyone knew what the fuck a gamer was.  I saved Princess Toadstool so many times I got a hard on when they introduced Peach.  The Legend of Zelda?  Please, I didn't break a sweat.  Contra?  Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start bitches.  Kids these days think their Skylanders games are hard, how about needing to dedicated and entire day to trying to beat a game because there was no save feature and you could only go forward.  You had to pray to the maker that your mom didn't accidentally trip over the power cord and unplug the NES.

I owned enough t-shirts to wear a different one for every day of the school year.  Batman, Spider-man, Superman, Star Wars, Star Trek, you named it I had a t-shirt for it.  I was novelty t-shirts before Dr. Sheldon Cooper.  I had a semi-replica lightsaber growing up, it was Darth Vaders and I had the official movie posters for Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back and Revenge of the Jedi.  Yeah you read that right, REVENGE of the Jedi.

I am a geek, like my father before me and my Minions will be geeks too.  I was a geek before it was cool to be a geek.


  1. I don't remember the "bitches" button being a part of the Konami Code? I've been doing it wrong this whole time! I look forward to your post about the difference between geeks and nerds, as I've always heard (and been called) those terms interchangeably. And don't forget about dork, dweeb and spaz and where they fit in.
    Of course I had Nintendo Power, but I was a closeted geek. No wearing my geekiness on my shirt (literally) for fear of physical confrontation and my naughty bits never meeting those of a willing partner. I thank those brave enough to be out of the closet who would help divert attention from cowards like me, and drive the culture forward.