Snowmageddon

Would you look at that?  There appears to be a snow storm moving in to the area!  Who Woulda Thought? (Yes, pun and shameless plug intended).

Oops, sorry let me clarify something before I continue, this post is directed to the New England region.  Unless you have just moved to New England in the past five years there is no excuse for you to freak out about a snow storm, period, end of story.  What did you expect in winter?  You live in New Fucking England.

See the red circle at the end of the potential 2 ft + arrow, that's pointed at my house.

So they named the blizzard Nemo...wait, Nemo?  They named the snow storm Nemo?  Who's in charge of naming storms anyway?  Is there one person who sits in an office, getting paid six figures to come up with names for the major storms?  A meteorologist comes running down the hall...

"Frank!  Frank!  We got a big snow storm coming in and we need a name...stat!"

"Um, let's see, snow storm, um OK I got it, I just watched a movie last night with Frank Jr., we'll call it Nemo!  Everyone loves that cute little handicapped fish."

"Perfect!  Thanks!  Take the rest of the day of Frank, you did great!"

I got me a storm named after me!

So now that the name has been given, the meteorologist heads out to their team and makes the big announcement....

"OK, gang, Frank dubbed this one Nemo.  We know what to do right?  Look at eleven different radars and pick the one that sounds the worst.  We're going to break into every TV and radio show to scare the living shit out of the general public.  Make them panic people!  We want mass chaos, cluster fucks and we want to sell out of milk and bread!"

The Blizzard of '78, that's all I've heard before any storm.

Speaking of milk and bread...what the fajita?  I've lived in New England my entire life and have seen many different storms and not once did I say to myself, "Holy shit Kev, I better go get milk and bread for the storm!"  That and water, why go out and buy water?  It's going to snow and now I'm not the most scientific guy on the planet but I do know that snow is frozen water.  With two feet of snow, you'll have plenty of water on hand.

Also, people on Facebook, you don't have to update your status to tell people that it's snowing.  I'm pretty sure you didn't go to school to be a meteorologist and we already know, we live in the same area that you do.  I don't think I would be shocked if I signed onto Facebook and saw multiple posts about how it's snowing...

"Whoa shit!  Good thing I went on Facebook today, I thought it was 70 and sunny out!"

I apologize for the rant and I understand that this is going to be a huge storm for us in New England but I would like to point out something, we had a debilitating ice storm back in 2008, where many communities didn't have power for almost a month and guess what?  We didn't get much national support, it was flashed on the news and they said, "Eh, it's New England." 

If this storm is as bad as the "professionals" are claiming, I can guarantee that we won't get some benefit concert headlined by Jewel with special guest John Melloncamp.  No sir, we'll get a nod from the Vice President and maybe a commercial with some local celebrity like Wally the Green Monster telling us that everything will be alright and not to panic.

And you know what?  We don't care, why?  Because we live in New Fucking England.