Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Day 25: Episode IV: The Scrooge Strikes Back

Well another Christmas has come and gone and my living room looks like a demilitarized zone with Legos and Squinkies scattered everywhere.  All in all it was a pretty good Christmas and I have been de-Scrooged.  It started yesterday, obviously, on Christmas Eve (which don't forget is Minion #1's birthday) I, like all other retail schmucks, have to work on Christmas Eve and that's when all the dumbasses come out. 

Seriously, it's not like I work at the mall or a toy store, go home and spend time with your families you idiots.  Luckily it was a partial day and I was home fairly early.  Every Christmas Eve we take Minion #1 out for his birthday dinner and this year he chose Buffalo Wild Wings.  Nice choice kid!  Buffalo wings and beer all around!  Or at least for me...

After dinner we cruise around looking at Christmas lights and this year there seemed to be a lot more than normal and it made for a pretty decent drive around.  We stumbled upon a house in the town over from us who sets up for a light show and all the music was Trans Siberian Orchestra, which is my second favorite Christmas music right behind the Boss.  We watched that for the half hour and contemplated going to check out a real Living Nativity but once I explained there wouldn't be a camel there, the magic burst like a balloon, so we headed home and got ready for the fat man to arrive.

The Minions before bed
Once we got the Minions into bed, the scurrying commenced.  We ran all over the house to the hiding places where all of the presents were hid.  One of the many things I love about the Trophy is she doesn't wrap the presents from Santa...God I love that. We had set all the presents out and were getting ready for bed ourselves when the Trophy got a text.  "Can I come pick up the TV?"

Before the Fat Man got there.
Crap, we forgot that we were nominated to be the neighborhood storage unit again this year and our neighbor had the TV her family was getting from Santa in our garage.  So, in a flurry we got dressed and waited for her to arrive.

The Minions actually let us sleep until 7:00 AM and then the commotion started.  Let me ask you a question...who decided that it was a good idea to twist tie ALL of the toys into the packages with a plastic coated wire?  People who don't have kids, that's who!  We spent half our morning twisting toys out of their plastic jail cells.

About mid morning I fell back to sleep, in my recliner, with my robe and slippers one.  I felt like my Dad, minus the whole being bald thing.  Once the afternoon rolled around we, like everyone else I saw on Facebook, decided to get Chinese food.  Sixty five dollars later we pigged out on fried Chinesey goodness and had plenty of leftovers.  This was the first year that we didn't have a big meal since #1 was born.  We figured since Mom and Dad passed earlier this year, who were we trying to impress so well all ate while still wearing our pajamas.

So here it is, ten minutes to nine and I've had two naps, ate my weight in crab ragoon, played my Star Wars Xbox 360 and built both Star Wars Lego sets I got for Christmas.  I have watched the Minions playing their games, we went for a walk in the snow and spent time as a family.  It was a good day.  I think every day should be like Christmas Day. 

Merry Christmas everyone, I hope you were able to spend time with your family and friends!

Goodby Gonads!  I hope you fucking suffocate in that stupid box you came in.

Yes, that is a genuine Gay For Star Wars Xbox 360
Pickled green beans anyone?
Moose mug!


  1. Kevin. You are awesome. Merry Christmas!

  2. So, you played Galactic Danceoff, right? Which do you like better, "I'm Han Solo" or "Hologram Girl"?