Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Day 18: Giving Me The Jitters

All Hail Queen Mother Fluffer
Mother fluffer!  I've been hacked...no not really.  I've been doing a post a day for 17 days now and I wanted a fresh opinion on the Christmas season so I asked fellow blogger Sleepy Bard who controls the blog The Insomniac's Dream like Vader controls the Death Star (minus the exhaust port which isn't much bigger than a Womprat) to tackle one of the topics I was going to do.  So without further ado, the Queen Mother Fluffer herself...The Sleepy Bard.

And P.S., this isn't cheating, I still had to type the intro and post it myself...so there. 

Christmas comes every year and with it comes many traditions. Most of them are a pain the ass.  Tree Fluffing.  Shopping.  Dumb commercials and stupid Hallmark movies.  Gaudy Christmas decorations. Horrible music we suffer through for two months.  Baking and cooking a bunch of shit that no one really likes.  Getting together with family no one really likes.  The list goes on.

One thing that rides in on the coat tails of the Holiday Season is actually something I look forward to every year.

Seasonal coffees and creamers.

I love coffee.  I like to believe the feeling is mutual.  Coffee and I have been having a lurid love affair for many, many years.  I look forward to our mornings together.  Sometimes we get fancy and meet up somewhere nice like Starbucks.

Let's start this conversation with the flavored creamers we get to enjoy every year.  They're usually around just long enough for us to get hooked before they're taken away from us and we have to wait an entire year to see them again.  Sigh.  I guess it's what keeps the relationship new.

Pictured here are the tasty treats Coffee-Mate offers us for the Holidays.  Though most are geared towards Christmas time, some of these delectable creamers start in the Fall for Halloween time.  

From left to right: Gingerbread- I've tried it, not a big fan.  If you're one of those weird people that actually likes gingerbread this would be a great creamer for you.  

Peppermint Mocha- Quite possibly puts Heaven into your cup of joe.  

Sugar & Spice- a little too sweet for me and much like drinking a sugar cookie.  

Pumpkin Spice- the SHIZNIT of all creamers, pumpkin spice is by far my personal favorite.  

Eggnog- If you enjoy eggnog this creamer is a must have, it is delicious in a very strong cup of coffee.  

Caramel apple- I guess if you even liked caramel apples you'd enjoy this creamer, it's much too sweet for me and there's something just wrong about my coffee tasting like apples.  If you want hot apples, drink cider. 

International Delight has chimed in with their own flavored creamy delights.

 From left to right.  Again, we have Gingerbread- tastes the same as Coffee-Mate to me.

Peppermint Mocha- I like this brand a little bit more, it's got a bite to it very similar to the specialty mochas you can buy.  More on this later.

Pumpkin Spice-If it's pumpkin, I will eat it, drink it, light it, use it, wear it, take a bath in it, or sleep in it.  Maybe even try to sex it.

 Raspberry Cheesecake- While this is quite delicious, if not a bit sweet, I don't see it's relevance to "seasonal creamers".

Vanilla- Really?  This is a seasonal creamer?  I thought vanilla was the most used flavored creamer year round.

If making coffee in your kitchen and adding in a little tasty treat isn't your thing, try flavored coffees. You can have all the flavor, but drink it black without adding any sweetness.

Along the same lines as the creamers, these flavored coffees pictured are from Dunkin' Donuts.  Though you can find that most every brand in the grocery store offers their version this time of year.  Guess which one my favorite is?

Moving onto the fancier (and more costly) seasonal treats.  With so many coffee shops out there I am choosing to highlight my top two.

Dunkin' Donuts not only offers delicious pumpkin coffee, but you can also get pumpkin muffins and pumpkin donuts.  I spend a lot of time in Dunkin' during September and October.  Don't judge.  I love pumpkin. 

Look at these.  I want to drink them.  Stick my face in them and motorboat.  What?  Oh, sorry, I get a little excited around coffee.  So, we have Cinnamon Swirl, Peppermint Mocha, and Gingerbread.  All three flavors are offered hot, or iced.   Who wants a peppermint mocha donut, a gingerbread muffin and a cinnamon swirl coffee?  I do!

Starbucks offers us Gingerbread Latte, Caramel Brulee Latte, and Peppermint Mocha.  Folks, I have tried all three and the only one I like is the Peppermint Mocha.  I seem to recall Starbucks offering an Eggnog Latte.  Being that I liked it so much they probably discontinued it out of spite.

I can almost smell it.  What a beautiful picture of my absolute favorite pumpkin spice latte.  I would sleep with this coffee.

Then we have this coffee shop in our local mall here in Bumfuck, PA.  I don't even know the name of the coffee shop, nor do I ever go there but once (sometimes twice) a year.  They have a little delight named "Sleigh Ride".  It's a peppermint mocha that is to die for.  Literally.  I would probably kill for it.  It's the Queen of all peppermint mochas, with chocolate bits in the coffee and shreds of peppermints and chocolate curls on the whipped cream.

So this Christmas season, when you're struggling with road rage, at your wit's end in the mall, about to scream at your greedy kids and threaten to kill Santa, remember to take a time out and enjoy your own personal favorite flavored coffee.  A cup of pure bliss and Heaven on the taste buds, a few moments alone (even if you have to lock yourself in the bathroom) with one of these treats can turn your day around.  A flavored seasonal treat can give you a whole new perspective on Tis the Season.

As promised, your daily ornament from The Motherfluffing Tree You do not get a pass because I'm Guest Posting. We discussed this yesterday.
Gay for Star Wars

 What the festival of lights?!  Gonads is 69ing a Yoshi?  Man...can this get any worse?


  1. I might have to try that caramel apple one. I use caramel macchiato creamer, myself. I could have sworn that International Delight made a year-round peppermint mocha? No?

    1. It's not available here if it's year round. I wait for it.

  2. Okay... so Hubbs and I do the "Pumpkin Spice Creamer" countdown every October .... and then buy the first case we can find...

    1. Riiight? Personally I start my count down in August, then in September I hit up Dunkin' and the gas stations and the stores and wherever pumpkin is.

  3. I don't think I've heard of Bumfuck, PA. Is it a good place for a holiday?

    1. Nowhere in all of PA is a "good place for the holiday". Bumfuck is especially bad, but with a good cup of coffee I get by.

  4. I have considered myself a coffee connoisseur since my days of working at a 7-Eleven. I've probably tried all of their 1000 flavors of coffee. One of my favorites which they no longer get in was the Holiday Chocolate Covered Cherry Flavored Coffee. I have also tried several of the Coffee Mate and International Coffee Creamer flavors. Great posting on coffees btw! Oh and if I should ever get another elf on a shelf your's has taught a few lessons this holiday season! I would definitely never allow an elf on a shelf access to the Internet! :)

  5. Thanks to the Mother Fluffer herself for guest posting!