So, for the next 72 hours I am a bachelor. Each time they make the trek down there, my friends always ask what I am going to do when they're gone and I usually just tell them nothing and that it is boring. There is some truth to that, it does get boring after a day or so, but I can live with that because it's quiet. I do different things each time they go down there so it's hard to let me friends know what I do. Well, this time, I actually know what I am going to do this weekend seeing that I have the house all to myself.
I am going to come home from work and sit for a few minutes and take in the quietness. I am going to listen to the sounds of the house that I can't hear with the "MINE!", "GIMME THAT!" and "IT'S NOT FAIR!" screams resonating through the house.
I am going to take a shit without having a squadron of Stormtroopers keeping guard at the sink watching my every push or having to share the bathroom with the new cat and even have the door open.
I am going to replace the Capri-Suns in the fridge with beer. I am going to have a friend over to help me drink that beer, so I can go and get more beer.
I am going to order a Pu-Pu platter and an order of fried rice from the Chinese restaurant down the street and eat the whole order by myself....without the little panhandlers begging for scraps.
I am going to go out to a bar Saturday night with a friend. At this bar I will not have to ask for a kid's menu or ask the server for crayons. I am going to order buffalo wings the way I like them...fucking burning.
I am going to sleep in on Sunday, I won't have to hear the knock, knock, knock at 6:30 AM. Now to be fair when I say I am going to sleep in, I mean I will sleep until 8 AM so don't get excited.
I am going to help out my Cub Scout Pack sell popcorn on Sunday morning and not have to worry about two of my Minions who are in the Pack. If a kid acts up, I know his parent is right there and I can sit back and smile.
I am going to spend my Sunday afternoon puttering around the garage, organizing and cleaning it. I can do this without the three Minions trailing behind me, making a mess quicker than I can clean.
There, now my friends can know what I am going to do this weekend, oh and my phone will be off too.