Monday, April 16, 2012

Numbnuts



Not only is Sunday my only day off from work, it's my only day off from the A to Z Challenge, I mean Jesus, even the God had a day of rest....

We had a good day, had some friends over, celebrated #3's birthday (he got a new magic set, where you can make your farts turn into fire) and I relaxed (some).  I drank a few beers and I had time to think about the letter N, which ironically enough is the letter for today in the A to Z challenge.

Numbnuts.  Besides one of my sayings I used to use a few years ago (I really should start using it again, like the word dink) it is one of our cats now.  Aside from three boys, we own a "dog" and 2 cats.  I put the "dog" in quotation marks because she technically is a dog but she is a miniature dachshund. I feel really gay walking this thing, all with the matching pink collar and leash we have for her.  All in all though she is an awesome dog, great with the kids and pretty cute.

R.I.P. Shithed
Then there are the cats.  Let me paint a past picture for you, I had a cat that I rescued from some jerk off throwing rocks and kicking sand at it.  He was an awesome cat, except we didn't get him fixed quick enough and he found the pleasure of, well, masturbation.  He would spray everywhere......we affectionately called him Shithead, of course when #1 came along we shortened it to Shead.  We lost him last year.

Here's precious.
My wife got a cat back then too, Kaluha.  This precious little princess is as wide as she is long.  She is a snuggler though, so she would jump on our bed (with a THUD) and sleep between us.  She is a nice cat and really sweet.

Numbnuts.
Now enter our newest addition to the family, Logray.  Named after an Ewok, this little guy is a perfect replacement for Shithead.  Fun little guy, very playful, and a snuggler too.  The only difference is we jumped all over chopping his balls off....hence the numbnuts title of this post.  As a guy, I am always empathetic to fixing a male animal, I might be going through it myself some point (no, I'm not fixed...yet, don't want to add #4 to the dossiers).


I know the procedure for the cat is simple but still it's desecrating his manhood.  I didn't want to get too much information about this but I have seen bull castrations, it's fucked up.  Do they do the same thing on kittens?  How do they find them?  They are covered in fur and blend in.  I was worried about doing it, Logray was so fun and spunky, I didn't want him to become a lazy little shit.

When my wife picked him up the vet said to make sure he isn't running around and to make sure he takes it easy....suuuurrrrreeee, no problem.  I got home from work and he was his normal self so that is a good thing.  Oh, wait, what do I mean by his normal self?  Oops, I forgot to tell you, this cat might as well be #4 with the boys.

You could consider this one the defender.  He is like a ninja, just louder and not stealthy at all.  You know when he is going attack, he purrs, not just any purr, he is frickin loud, it's like a warning purr.   As soon as you hear the purr, you better be looking around the floor.  Like a ninja (I said that already) he comes and attacks your....pant legs.  Vicious little fucker.  The problem is I have started wearing shorts with the warm weather and I have the claw marks to prove it.

So for anyone who is worried about getting their cat fixed because he will get lazy, I hope you have one like Logray, it's like nothing happened with him.  Poor ballless wonder.

I might as well be walking this thing when I walk the dog.  FABulous!





3 comments:

  1. Oh man we have finally found a way we are not similar. I despise cats, with a passion. Perhaps it is because we have 150 pigeons and cats like to eat birds.

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    1. Well one thing out of 1,089 isn't bad odds...I still say we were separated at birth.

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  2. I am terrified of cats ( goes back to my childhood and getting bit on the face by one ), but I love dogs and I think miniature dachshunds are so so so cute!

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