|A winter wonderland...|
Say what? I have been on this Earth for almost 36 years and the only place I have ever witnessed a scene like this was on the Holiday movies they play on TV during the month of December and I call false advertisement there. Sure you could be watching these movies on your TV, with a fire roaring in the fireplace, snuggled under the Christmas fleece throw and sipping hot chocolate you made yourself, but all that's doing is giving you delusions of grandeur. You do not have a fire going in the fireplace because you haven't had the chimney cleaned in six years, the fleece throw you are using has pumpkins and black cats on it from Halloween and unless your name is Swiss Miss, you didn't make your own hot chocolate.
|Bullshit...complete and utter bullshit.|
Nine years ago, I myself had delusions of grandeur. I was a new Dad, a proud Dad, a Dad who could do anything and I also only had one Minion to contend with. I started the tradition of taking him shopping for Mom. We would buckle into the car and drive off to the mall where I would let him pick out a few things within a certain price range and as a treat he would get an Orange Julius or a pretzel for being such a good kid. Holy moose knuckles, I was an idiot for starting that tradition.
Now every year, like Pavlov's dog, I take the Minions shopping. Of course things have changed now, there are no longer Orange Julius or pretzel rewards, in fact they are lucky to get out of the mall alive. The Minions still get to pick out their own presents for Mom, for example, last year she got a pink bathrobe, a lady bug necklace and some Bath and Body Works lotion (wrong scent by the way) and then I find something that she will like in order to balance the "hand picked" gifts from the Minions.
|Royal Rumble or the Mall? Same difference.|
|I know I'm behind, but what the fajita is this?|
What's not to love about this time of year?
Oh and I need to take matters into my own hands now. There was a line and that Elf, well he fucking leaped across it last night. He was caught trying on The Trophy's bras. I think we stopped him before he started sniffing panties....