50 Shades of F'd Up

OK, so, here's the deal, this is not going to be a normal blog post more of an update. 

Everyone has heard of 50 Shades of Grey, if you haven't, well what the fuck?  So anyway, 50 Shades of Grey is supposed to be some sort of fictional erotic story about two people having lots of sex and in different ways or porn as us guys call it.

Too classy to watch porn, but they will read the shit out of it.

I was helping my friend move his mom out of her old house and into her new one and a mutual friend had asked if the Trophy had read the book yet.  I told him no, I don't need her having any sort of super expectations of how our sex life could be, that would be way too much pressure on me and I don't work very well under pressure.  He then proceeded to inform me that not only did he buy it for his fiancee but he has read some of it....

All I could picture was this....

 After the initial burst of uncontrollable laughter, I looked at him and asked in a serious tone, "Is it as, um, fucked up as everyone says it is?"

"And then some."

As we moved the furniture I had time to dwell on this and I thought of a perfect thing for my blog.  I will interview someone who has read the book and get her reaction!  Brilliant!  Or not....I thought some more, the only one I would feel comfortable enough to interview is my sibling from another dribbling's wife and well, honestly that would make me feel pretty awkward...

"So, after reading this epic novel of brutal sex and different positions you've never heard of, has your bedroom become more intense?"

Some things are better left unsaid and unheard so I crushed that idea like a beer can.  Then it hit me, my moving buddy said he read some of it, he's a guy, that means I can read it. 

So here's the deal, I am going to purchase 50 Shades of Grey (just the first book, from what they tell me there is a trilogy...wow, how fucked up sexually can you be?) and read it.  After each chapter I will transcribe the story in my own words to you, my faithful Minion followers.  Yes, there will be spoilers but deal with it.  So once I get the book I will begin my blog report called....