Diet In The A To Z Challenge

The letter D of Adulthood.  Thanks for coming along for the ride, I hope I am keeping you entertained.  Today it's diet.  There are two types of diets that you encounter in Adulthood, there's the diet where you loose the weight you've gained over the winter and then there's the diet of what you eat as you get older.

As I've traveled deeper into Adulthood I find myself changing my diet, no to always loose weight but because I have to.  When I was younger I could eat anything I wanted, sure I gained weight but I could eat and it wouldn't affect me other than that.  Spicy nachos, whiskey, hell I would even drink Tabasco sauce as a dare, no worries.  I could eat burgers, drink milk and enjoy an over abundance of Chinese food without any problems. But now, as I have gotten older in Adulthood, things have changed.

I'm not one to go to the doctors on a regular basis, 1.  I'm not one of those people and 2.  I refuse to pay a $35 co-pay for the sniffles, but when I did go last year she recommended that I change my diet.  The first thing she suggested was to eat more fiber.  I changed doctors immediately after that because she obviously doesn't know me as a patient, just joking.  More fiber?  What does she want me to do blow the planet up?  I asked her why and she told me that with my different poop schedule more fiber would regulate it back to where it was.  Ok...I'll buy that so I ate more fiber...bad mistake.

Come to find out fiber really doesn't make me more regular it makes me fart more, like stink myself out of my truck fart a lot.  It put a fucking turbo charger on the Evenrude.  I stopped the fiber and am dealing with adjusting my pooping schedule.  Crazy doctor.

I get heartburn from water.  Water.  THE most natural substance on earth and it gives me heartburn.  I love water, I will drink water over an other beverage, except beer, any day.  Speaking of beer, I don't get drunk off of beer anymore.  I can't, I don't get it.  I can drink 8 beers and not feel buzzed, bloated like a dead whale carcass but not buzzed.

I am reduced to drinking 1% milk, not because it's better for me but because it tastes better to me.  I used to LOVE whole milk, I would drink that with every meal, it tasted great but over the course of the years, it started to fell thick, so I went to 2% and that started to be same way now I'm at 1%.  I'm fucked if 1% starts tasting funking because there is no way in hell I am going to drink skim milk.  Skim milk?  Might as well pour a glass of water and sprinkle some baby powder in it, and then I'm back to heartburn from water

I still haven't mastered the do and do not food list, it's a work in progress but like all other things I will learn it over time...but man do I miss greasy Chinese food...

Goddamn, That's A Fat Ass

I went and did it.  I stepped on the scale this morning and did not like what I saw.  I have gained thirteen pounds since the end of August.  I looked in the mirror and said, "Goddamn, that's a fat ass."  Granted I have lost sixty pounds over the past couple of years, but I still have a long way to go.  I was OK where I was and I was holding steady until my week on the Cape.  You can go back a read the posts, but in a nut shell I ate a lot and didn't exercise much at all.  I fell into the trap and assumed I was holding steady for the month of September.  I was wrong.


So now I need to get back to the...diet...and exercise.  I want to drop these thirteen pounds quickly, and for the most part I can, but I need to keep going on it.  With clothes on I look OK, but when your moobs jiggle while brushing your teeth, you need to loose more weight.  I can still fit into my pants that I have from loosing the sixty pounds but I muffin top something fierce now and I can still use the new hole I put in my belt to make it smaller, but that pushes my stomach up like a tube of toothpaste.  And then there is the turkey gobbler I have under my chin.

The turkey gobbler is no where near as prominent as it used to be two years ago, but I can see it sneaking it's way back onto my profile and it jiggles when I brush my teeth as well.  It does look much better when I shave it though, not that I get much facial hair, but the little I do get highlights it.  I know what I need to do, I've done it before, I have just become complacent with enjoying my chips and dip, beer and, well, food in general.

The Trophy and I always say that we will start a diet on Monday, but this time I really did.  I packed my lunch (like always) but it was less and not so yummy....

I took two Nalgene bottles of water because you know you can't diet without pissing a ton of fluid out, took a yogurt (90 calories), two apples, a granola bar (100 calories) and a bed of shredded lettuce with one can of tuna fish (mixed with 1 tablespoon of fat free mayo).....oooohhhh, stop you're spoiling me.  The thing is though, during the day isn't the main issue, I'm usually pretty good, it's when I get home.  I'm a stress eater.

I need to break the habit of coming home to three screaming Minions and a cranky Trophy (because of the screaming Minions) and immediately going for the fridge.  That will be the challenge, that and not grabbing the chips and chowing them while watching the Biggest Loser, I think I'm going to Hell for that actually, it would be like using the elliptical while watching the band of what the fucks from Honey Boo Boo land.

So today begins my journey that I have taken before.  I have goals for this time around, being able to tie my shoes without getting winded is a good start.