Did You Miss Me?

Well, I guess I have been a dich.

Well I missed you.

No seriously I did.  I realize that I haven't done a blog entry since April of 2014 (fucking A to Z Challenge).  I definitely put the blogging on the back burner and you know what, it was nice.  I spent time with the family, did some great things in Scouts and lived my life but deep down inside, I missed it.  I missed the torture of trying to be humorous, the agony of trying to write something that people would enjoy and more importantly the free therapy.

Yup, that's the look right there.

What prompted this you may ask?  Simple, I was a friend's daughter's 3rd birthday party (I know, I'm a baller when it comes to parties) and his brother came up to me and said he's been away and hasn't been able to keep up with my blog and was looking forward to catching up on it since he left.  When I told him there wasn't much to catch up on, I kinda got the "Whaaaaaat?" look from him, it was like almost an approval rating of -29 from him.

Then it happened again, this time I was talking to a friend of mine, helping him out with some stuff and he mentioned that he always looked forward to my blog posts and that he missed reading them.  I looked at him and asked why, his simple response was that it gave him something to look forward to each week.  I gave him the "Don't start this shit" look and he bounced that look right back at me like a volley ball.

"You're a fucking published author and a funny one at that.  Stop being a dumbass and do what you like doing."

Blink, blink, blink.

Wow dude.  Thanks.

Hi, my name is Kevin and I'm a dumbass.

And you know what he's right, I am a published author, I can blog at least once a week. I have some crazy shit to blog about (that's the beauty of this world, the dumbassary pool never runs dry).  I may not write things everyone will like and I won't get discouraged when my views are low, this is something I enjoy doing.

It's a new year, I'm buried under 7 feet of snow, what the fuck, let's kick this thing off again.  Maybe I'll revamp the look, maybe I won't.  One thing is for sure I will blog, dammit I will blog.

Hope you're ready.

Off The Grid

Have you ever wondered where you've gone?

Don't look at me like that, you know what I mean.  You're in the swing of things and really enjoying doing something then BAM! you stop doing it for whatever reason.  You sit back and ponder what happened but you really don't know, you just know that it happened.

What I do know is my last blog post was back in July, which really isn't that bad from a certain point of view but I feel like it's been forever.  Don't get me wrong, I've had many things to write about the past few months but just didn't have the ambition to do it, for whatever reason.

I could have written about my summer camp experience where I spent four days and three nights with Minion #1 and 26 other Webelos Scouts that I had no affiliation to and how on the third day I made them line up with a pair of clean socks and gotchies in their hands and marched them down to the showers because if they didn't shower 1.  I was going to pass out from the stench and 2.  Their parents would kill me.  Do you know how hard it is getting 27 nine - ten year olds to shower in the woods?  Even with hot running water?  What's even more amazing was how some parents actually didn't pack soap or shampoo for their son knowing full well they were going to be in the wilderness for an extended period of time.

Maybe I should have told you about my own family camping trip to Vermont where is rained non stop and we were sleeping in flooded tents.  It was the most miserable camping trip I have ever taken and as you know I have camped A LOT.  The ironic and even scary part was when we were huddled under the tarp and C.C.R.'s Have You Ever Seen The Rain came on Pandora on my iPhone.  Fuck off C.C.R. I saw the rain and it sucked.

Hell, I could have told you about my battle with Minion #3 getting him to stop walking around with his hands down the back of pants.  That was fun telling my kid to stop grabbing his butt while we were in the mall but then again I guess it's a guy thing.

Yeah I could have told you about a bunch of things that happened over the past few months but the reality is my ambition was crushed.  I can't tell you why or how it was crushed but it was.  Don't get me wrong it was kind of nice being off the grid and not having the pressure of thinking of a blog post to write but I missed it.  I've said it before, this is like therapy for me and you the faceless readers are my therapists, just free.

I have come the the conclusion that no matter what someone says, I need to keep writing my blog.  I am truly amazed at how many people enjoy reading it and how much I really do enjoy writing it, after all I am a published author (I'm pretty sure I mentioned that before).  So, I'm back bitches!

Thanksgiving is coming up and this will be the first year in a long time where it is just going to be myself, the Trophy and the three Minions.  I'm looking forward to not having a crowded house and nice simple dinner.  However after Thanksgiving begins the craziness of what we know as Christmas and well that fucking Elf is coming back and getting that stuck up, pompous, Elf on a Shelf blogger another bazillion page views, but I have something for the Elf and her...just you wait.